Best Selling Books by Ron Koertge

Ron Koertge’s Yellow Moving Van is a collection of relaxed and buoyant and sometimes very funny poems that address Desi & Lucy with the same courtesy as Walt Whitman. The author celebrates his roots in the Mid-West and a few pages later stops off in Transylvania. These poems like to sometimes embrace and sometimes confound expectations, and they all stand together as enemies of the murky and pompous. There is apparently no subject -- Prometheus, a fifty foot woman, or Death himself -- that is unwilling to fall under his spell.

Vampire Planet is an eclectic, witty, and often moving New & Selected collection of poems from a writer whom former US Poet Laureate Billy Collins calls "the wisest, most entertaining wise guy in American poetry."

Fielding his social life is a bigger challenge for Kevin than hitting a fastball in Ron Koertge’s funny, insightful sequel to Shakespeare Bats Cleanup. Fourteen-year-old Kevin Boland has a passion for playing baseball, a knack for writing poetry — and a cute girlfriend named Mira who’s not much interested in either. But then, Kevin doesn’t exactly share Mira’s newfound fervor for all things green. So when Kevin signs up for open mike night at Bungalow Books and meets Amy, a girl who knows a sonnet from a sestina and can match his emails verse for verse, things start to get sticky. Should he stay with Mira? Or risk spoiling his friendship with Amy by asking her out? Ron Koertge, master of snappy dialogue and a deft poet, offers a fast-paced, sympathetic story that interweaves two narrative voices with humor and warmth.

Writing in free verse honed to a wicked edge, the incomparable Ron Koertge brings dark and contemporary humor to twenty iconic fairy tales. Once upon a time, there was a strung-out match girl who sold CDs to stoners. Twelve impetuous sisters escaped King Daddy’s clutches to jiggle and cavort and wear out their shoes. A fickle Thumbelina searched for a tiny husband, leaving bodies in her wake. And Little Red Riding Hood confessed that she kind of wanted to know what it’s like to be swallowed whole. From bloodied and blinded stepsisters (they were duped) to a chopped-off finger flying into a heroine’s cleavage, this is fairy tale world turned upside down. Ron Koertge knows what really happened to all those wolves and maidens, ogres and orphans, kings and piglets, and he knows about the Ever After. So come closer — he wants to whisper in your ear.

In plain, unpretentious language, with brutal honesty, Ron Koertge can meld violence, love, human ugliness, joy, and modern depravity into a short lyric that makes us laugh out loud or socks us in the gut. His images arrive in giant clown shoes—cigars the size of Florida, the plastic man’s counter-length arms—or neatly packaged in carefully observed detail, as he writes of the “black little hearts” of ants or an ape’s “dark and leathery breast.” Through every poem, there runs a constant and sincere humanity, a voice that laughs at itself, often goads us a bit, but always stuns and enlightens us when we dis – cover something of ourselves gambling with the crowd at the racetrack, driving from the parking lot of the Mexican restaurant, or shambling with the distraught parent leaving the hospital. In Making Love to Roget’s Wife, Ron Koertge offers his best work from twenty-three years and a dozen earlier collections. With twenty-five new poems, and over eighty from previous books, this selection reawakens us to the presence of a superbly honed comic voice.

A funny, in-your-face novel starring an unlikely teenage pair - a sheltered cinemaphile with cerebral palsy and the tattooed, straight-talking stoner who steals his heart. For sixteen-year-old Ben Bancroft - a kid with cerebral palsy, no parents, and an overprotective grandmother - the closest thing to happiness is hunkering alone in the back of the Rialto Theatre watching Bride of Frankenstein for the umpteenth time. Of course he waits for the lights to dim before making an entrance, so that his own lurching down the aisle doesn’t look like an ad for Monster Week. The last person he wants to run into is drugged-up Colleen Minou, resplendent in ripped tights, neon miniskirt, and an impressive array of tattoos. But when Colleen climbs into the seat beside him and rests a woozy head on his shoulder, Ben has that unmistakable feeling that his life is about to change. With unsparing humor and a keen flair for dialogue, Ron Koertge captures the rare repartee between two lonely teenagers on opposite sides of the social divide. It’s the tale of a self-deprecating protagonist who learns that kindred spirits can be found for the looking - and that the incentive to follow your passion can be set into motion by something as simple as a human touch.

Quick repartee. Unsparing wit. Insight, poignancy, and spot-on characters. Welcome the much—awaited sequel to the acclaimed Stoner & Spaz. Beautiful but troubled Colleen Minou is the only girl who ever looked at Ben Bancroft as more than a spaz — more than just that kid with cerebral palsy. Yet the more time Ben spends with her, the more glaring their differences appear. Is what Ben feels for Colleen actual affection, or more like gratitude? Then there’s Amy (aka A.J.), who is everything Colleen isn’t, and everything Ben’s grandma wants for him: clean-cut and upper-class, academically driven, just as obsessed with filmmaking as Ben is. But what does A.J. see when she looks at Ben? CP? Or the person behind the twisted body? In Ron Koertge’s sharp, darkly humorous follow-up to the award-winning Stoner & Spaz, Ben tries to come to terms with his confused feelings toward A.J. and his inimitable connection to Colleen, who is sometimes out of it, sometimes into him, and always exhilarating.

The sampler includes poems from Ron Koertge’s Coaltown Jesus and chapters from Susann Cokal’s The Kingdom of Little Wounds and David Almond’s The True Tale of the Monster Billy Dean. Coaltown Jesus When Jesus shows up in Walker’s life, healing triumphs over heartbreak in Koertge’s finest and funniest novel yet. The Kingdom of Little Wounds A young seamstress and a royal nursemaid find themselves at the center of an epic power struggle in this stunning young adult debut. The True Tale of the Monster Billy Dean From master storyteller David Almond comes a gripping, exquisitely written novel about a hidden-away child who emerges into a broken world.

This anthology from the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender features all your favorite characters, brought to life by a cast of all-star creators! Journey along with Team Avatar as they rescue a pumpkin farmer waylaid by monsters, go undercover in the Fire Nation, help an old rival with a hair-raising problem, and reflect on what it means to save the world. Featuring the work of Gene Luen Yang (Avatar: The Last Airbender--North and South), Faith Erin Hicks (The Nameless City), Carla Speed McNeil (Finder), Ron Koertge (Vampire Planet), Dave Scheidt (Dreamworks Trolls, Wrapped Up), Sara Goetter (Dungeon Critters, Boozle), and more, this anthology features stories both hilarious and heartwarming. Features brand new short stories set in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender! This volume also includes the short stories, "Rebound", "Shells", and "Sisters", previously released for Free Comic Book Day and never before collected!

A girl thought to be a boy steals her sister''s skirt, while a boy thought to be a girl refuses to wear a cornflower blue dress. One boy''s love of a soldier leads to the death of a stranger. The present takes a bittersweet journey into the past when a man revisits the summer school where he had "an accidental romance." And a forgotten mother writes a poignant letter to the teenage daughter she hasn''t seen for fourteen years. Poised between the past and the future are the stories of now. In nontraditional narratives, short stories, and brief graphics, tales of anticipation and regret, eagerness and confusion present distinctively modern views of love, sexuality, and gender identification. Together, they reflect the vibrant possibilities available for young people learning to love others—and themselves—in today''s multifaceted and quickly changing world.

The second book of the Backyard Witch series, by acclaimed authors Christine Heppermann and Ron Koertge, starring Ms. M, the witch who the Horn Book calls “a combination of Mary Poppins and a stand-up comedian.” A must-have for newly independent readers and fans of Ivy + Bean, Clementine, and the Food Network! Jess is a superstar on the field and on the court. Soccer, basketball, baseball, tennis—you name it, she loves it. But she’s a disaster in the kitchen, much to the dismay of her chef mother. When Jess’s mom gets a chance to work in a famous kitchen for a week, Jess and her friends, Sadie and Maya, try to help out by making dinner. And . . . let’s just say that it goes up in flames. Enter Ms. M, the mysterious witch who appears right when you need her! Ms. M is a heroine to rival Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and Ms. Frizzle. She doesn’t save the day herself, but she helps everyone save it for themselves. Short chapters filled with illustrator Deborah Marcero’s striking, lively black-and-white illustrations make the Backyard Witch series a must-have for young middle grade readers. Includes a recipe and information about cooking and gardening.

A must-have for newly independent readers and fans of Ivy + Bean and Clementine! The first of a new series starring three young girls and a mysterious visitor who appears exactly when you need her—with just the right amount of magic. Sadie has two best friends: Jess and Maya. But Jess can only take one friend on vacation with her, and Sadie is the one who gets left behind. How will Sadie ever survive the days of loneliness and boredom? But wait . . . what is that in her old playhouse in the backyard? A witch has moved in! A kind and funny witch, who’s looking for her own two lost friends. Together, Sadie and the witch have a curious adventure, one that makes Sadie see her neighborhood—and herself—with new eyes. Acclaimed authors Ron Koertge and Christine Heppermann—writing together and for younger readers for the first time—have created a heroine to rival Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and Ms. Frizzle. Short chapters, a satisfying mystery, gentle humor, magical dazzle, and adorable black-and-white illustrations throughout by debut artist Deborah Marcero make this an ideal pick for readers of Ivy + Bean, Just Grace, and Kate DiCamillo’s young novels.

Powerful, riveting, and real. Sixteen celebrated authors bring us raw, insightful stories that explore guns and teens in a fiction collection that is thought provoking and emotionally gripping. For fans of Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock and Give a Boy a Gun, and with an array of YA talent like the late great Walter Dean Myers, the poetic Joyce Carol Oates, the prophetic Elizabeth Wein, and the gritty Chris Crutcher, these are evocative voices that each has a different perspective to give. Capturing the hurt and the healing, victims and perpetrators, these stories get to the heart of the matter. From a boy whose low self-esteem is impacted when a gun comes into his possession to a student recalling a senseless tragedy that befell a favorite teacher, from a realistic look at hunting to a provocative look at a family that defies stereotypes, each emotional story stirs the debate to new levels. The juxtaposition of guns and their consequences offers moving tales, each a reminder of how crucial the question of guns in our society is, and the impact they have on all of us. Other acclaimed contributors are Marc Aronson, Edward Averett, Francesca Lia Block, Alex Flinn, Gregory Galloway, Jenny Hubbard, Peter Johnson, Ron Koertge, Chris Lynch, Eric Shanower, Will Weaver, and Tim Wynne-Jones.

The third book of the Backyard Witch series stars a spelling bee almost-champion, an imaginary chicken, and Ms. M, the mysterious witch who always appears when you need her. From acclaimed authors Christine Heppermann and Ron Koertge, this fun-filled friendship story is just right for fans of Ivy + Bean, Dory Fantasmagory, and Clementine. Maya has been preparing for the school spelling bee F-O-R-E-V-E-R. She spells every unusual word she hears and even enlists her best friends, Sadie and Jess, to help her practice. But on the day of the bee, something terrible happens—Maya loses. To Sadie. Enter Ms. M, who is substituting for the school librarian. Ms. M always knows just how to make everyone feel better . . . but she also always brings a little mischief. This time it involves a library poltergeist and an imaginary chicken! Short chapters filled with illustrator Deborah Marcero’s striking, lively black-and-white illustrations make the Backyard Witch series a must-have for young middle grade readers.

The subjects in Ron Koertge''s poems include Hades'' unhappy wife Persephone, Nancy Drew, and Dracula''s Wives. He has located Jane Austen at the mall, comforted the sun itself, and celebrated a winning day at the races. In an early poem, he extols his chosen vocation by saying this: "It''s so great to be a poet. I''m basically self-employed with nobody to please but myself." Yet pleasing his many fans is at the top of his Things-To-Do list. That is why poets from Billy Collins to B. H. Fairchild have called his poems masterful, quirky, deliciously sly, inventive and surprisingly sweet.

Traditionally, the ghazal, an ancient Persian form, has a lot of requirements (couplets, rhyme, refrain), but one specific subject love. Especially illicit and unattainable love. So what are readers to make of Ron Koertge s ghazals which are about, among other things, the Seven Dwarfs, Technicolor, and Mothra? Well, you probably can t beat him, so you may as well join him as with a white hot imagination and irrepressible and unpredictable lyricism he bends a few rules and breaks the rest. And yet his subject is still love. But not illicit or unattainable, since what he really loves is language. And language loves him back. There it is on every page, lying at his feet, panting. "

Ron Koertge eagerly tries his talented hand at Flash Fiction. In "BFF," a teenage girl from the near-future orders friends from Amazon. A few pages later, a robot who travels what is left of the world and observes through "well-engineered eyes" claims that the sound of turbines is his lullaby. A fed-up daughter finds a foolproof way to do away with her awful mother, while in "Jesus Dog" a mysterious animal helps a broken man recover. A page from Lois Lane''s diary reveals a shocking secret. Many mothers and daughters will see themselves in Ron''s version of the Persephone & Demeter story. Readers are ushered aboard a mysterious train and later invited to listen in as a teacher chats with a peculiar student named Oliver Oliver. A distant relative of Leda takes her boyfriend to the arboretum with grisly results, and Mr. Weenie tells his daughter how he and her mother met. "Sex World," the title story, turns out to not be about sex at all, but heartbreak. In these and dozens more, Ron lives up to his reputation as someone who is funny the way the truly serious often are.

Ron Koertge is a poet who wants to bring his readers nothing but pleasure.

"This novel told from multiple points of view follows a diverse cast of young people whose lives intersect in surprising and hilarious ways over the course of a summer day at the beach"--

Ray Koertge''s poem illustrated by Roy Fox, tells the story of Lois Lane''s secret daydream; just a dab of kryptonite tincture behind the ear would reduce Superman to a regular boyfriend. At last. 26 pages. 2.5" x 3".