Best Selling Books by Justin Heimberg

The perfect gag gift that blends absurdity, wit, and pop culture in a collection of laugh-out-loud funny and irresistibly thought-provoking dilemmas. Within these pages are over 200 hilarious questions that ask readers to look deep inside themselves and choose between two equally undesirable—or desirable—options. Prepare to be stumped by quandaries like: • Would you rather watch a porn movie with your parents, or watch a porn movie starring your parents? • Would you rather fight Mike Tyson, or talk like him? • Would you rather live in a world where at the end of a rainbow, there really was a pot of gold, or where at the end of a rainbow there were 500 cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon? Filled with twisted insights, Would You Rather... is brain candy to tempt even the most finicky palate.

Presents an assortment of dilemmas, in a series of questions, such as "Would you rather have the ability to ace any test, but only when completely naked or have the ability to be invisible but only while you dance around like an idiot?"

Offers strange dilemmas designed to make the reader both ponder and wince which are presented as a series of grotesque questions, such as "Would you rather cry melted cheese or sweat maple syrup?"

"A Seven Footer kids book"--P. [4] of cover.

The comic phenomenon known as theWould You Rather...'' series finds its ultimate expression in this enormous compilation of deranged dilemmas -- more than 1,500 in nearly 500 pages! -- accompanied by zany illustrations, games, and comedic riffs. Authors Justin Heimberg and David Gomberg draw on everything from movies and music to food and drink in this collection that''s perfect for groups, parties, or the lone reader who wants a good laugh.

“Tips on how to survive the bizarre—an alien abduction, vampires, and zombies, and how to pack for time travel . . . Humor-filled . . . Enjoyable.” —School Library Journal The authors of the best-selling Worst-Case Scenario series are back with a hilarious (and helpful!) handbook that’s a blast through space, time, history, and the imagination. Adventurous kids can find out how to survive a Mars landing, fight a werewolf, deal with a Bigfoot sighting, outwit a leprechaun, prepare for time travel to the prehistoric, ancient, and medieval world, and more. Peppered with historical and scientific facts along with wisdom from folklore, this book in the New York Times–bestselling series will amaze, amuse, and delight.

Giving new meaning to the term "bathroom humor,"Would You Rather . . .'' Read It and Wipe is the first book of comedy written and edited specifically to be read on the throne. The book features cutting-edge wit (both highbrow and lowbrow) at lengths perfect for lounging in the loo. Contributors include masters of the short and funny,Would You Rather . . .'' authors Justin Heimberg and David Gomberg, as well as some of their witty and famous friends. Included is the soon-to-be-famous "Doodie Log"!

For those who enjoy messing with other people''s heads -- or who wish to channel his or her inner performance artist -- this irreverent guide is the perfect companion. It contains 1,000 off-the-wall things to do in over 50 locations, all of which are guaranteed to disturb or disgust those unfortunate enough to be nearby. From conducting a job interview in interpretive dance to ending a relationship with the help of a big foam "You''re #1" finger, Mindf*cks makes the most of any mundane situation.

From the authors of the blockbuster hitWould You Rather...'' comes another collection of over 300 absurd alternatives and deranged dilemmas. Filled with wacky wit, irreverent humor, and twisted pop culture references,Would You Rather 2: Electric Boogaloo asks you to ponder questions such as: Would you rather . . . be a siamese twin connected at the lips or at the soles of your feet? Would you rather . . . have your hostage negotiator be Ozzy Osbourne or Jessica Simpson? Would you rather . . . have your cellphone ring function set on "Taser" or "Airhorn"?

Since the publication of the first Would You Rather...'' title in 1997, Justin Heimberg and David Gomberg have gone forth to spawn a franchise that shows no signs of slowing down or growing old. In this hilariously hefty addition to the series, the authors have created more than 1,500 all-new, never-before-published questions that will have regular readers and newcomers alike laughing out loud as they ponder the often outrageous, sometimes sinful, usually unusual, and unfailingly uproarious questions posed.

This three-book bundle includes: The Original Junior Edition, the Extreme Junior Edition, and the Weird Junior Edition. The phenomenally successful Worst-Case Scenario series provides kid-friendly, hands-on, step-by-step instructions for outwitting a nosy sibling, surviving a school dance, cleaning your room in a snap, dealing with an irritated parent (recognizing the tell-tale signs!), and more. Braces. Bullies. Chores. Childhood is chock-full of perils--but finally here''s something to come to the rescue.

From the authors of Would You Rather, comes Do Unto Others, A Life''s Little Instruction Book for those looking to add a little lunacy to their lives.With over 1,000 off-the-wall things to do in over 50 locations (churchs, shopping malls, public bathrooms, etc.), Justin Heimberg and David Gomberg have created a laugh-a-minute guide to disturbing and disgusting those around you. Here are some sample suggestions: Things to Do During a Job Interview --Answer all questions in interpretive dance --If they ask... "So Where Are you From?" You answer... "I''m probably the creation of some insane wizard." Fun Things to Do in a Mall --At the bookstore, hang out in self-help section, hit on vulnerable women. --Offer to pay for things in a) pennies b) acorns c) "tales of adventure" From the outlandish to the absurd, Do Unto Others covers all the bases of how to make the most out of mundane situations.

The demented minds that created the original Would You Rather...? collection and its best-selling follow-up, Would You Rather...?: Love and Sex, are back with even more preposterous predicaments and irreverent inquiries. Plumbing the depths of the current zeitgeist, Would You Rather...?: Pop Culture Edition is packed with over 300 wickedly funny -- and deceptively thought-provoking -- questions regarding sex, celebrities, hot trends, newsmakers, movies, video games, household products, and unusual combinations thereof. Would you rather be machine-gunned to death with Lite-Brite pegs or be assassinated by Cabbage Patch Dolls? Would you rather fight The Rock or fifteen clones of Barbara Bush to the death? Would you rather have phone sex with the Moviefone guy or Jar Jar Binks? Ideal for parties and road trips, these weighty philosophical questions are also perfect for moments of solitary reflection.

The best-selling (and wildly hilarious) Worst-Case Scenario series is back with 40 extreme survival tips for kids ages 8 to 12, great for adventurous fans of the I Survived series. Erupting volcanoes. Ravenous sharks. Pooping in the woods. The great outdoors is a weird, wonderful, and scare-your-pants-off terrifying place. Whether you’re freezing in the Arctic, escaping quicksand in the jungle, or befriending tarantulas in the desert, this guide has you covered. (Figuratively, not literally. We didn’t have the budget for a blanket-sized book.) Bust this guide open and discover step-by-step instructions for surviving the most extreme situations that Planet Earth can throw at you. Learn how to: Dodge a charging rhinoceros Ride out a sandstorm Navigate by the stars Build a snow cave Cross piranha-infested waters And much more! Yeah, the outdoors can be scary, but you’ve got this indispensable, laugh-out-loud survival guide. So what are you waiting for? Get out there!

This delightful book challenges readers with such pressing questions as: If you were a three-course meal, what would you be? How about if you were a song from the ''80s? If your mom were a weather forecast, what would she be? The book stretches those metaphor muscles along with the imagination in both solo settings and, most enjoyable, group gatherings. What Would You Be? is a game book that asks readers to look at themselves and each other in a new way.

Everyone has his or her price; this book attempts to determine what that price is. Authors David Gomberg and Justin Heimberg are sure that at least some readers will eat their own cats or dogs, but how much would they have to be paid for the privilege? And going to Starbucks in a thong and pasties would require how much of a payoff: $1,000? $10,000? This droll book is an instant conversation-starter that also holds up a mirror to readers'' hidden selves.

With more than 1200 questions, this new Would You Rather...'' collection is antic, audacious, comic, comical, hilarious, humorous, hysterical, riotous, side-splitting, and uproarious and will provide hours of amusing, diverting, jocular, playful, waggish, whimsical, witty, gleeful, merry, and/or mirthful entertainment.

Would You Rather...'': Trippin'' Edition continues in the series'' tradition of pondering the most absurd and implausible questions imaginable. Perfect for road trips and parties, it''s jam-packed with pop culture references and irreverent humor, and the thought-provoking questions make perfect ice-breakers -- the responses given can provide remarkable insights into the minds of others. This pocket-size book is also an entertaining way to kill time when riding in the subway or waiting for the dentist.

Here comes the Ultimate Challenge for any fan of the irreverent, with the largest collection of Would You Rather ...? questions ever bound into one volume. You will find yourself between the rockiest of rocks and the hardest of hard places as you consider these mind-blowing dilemmas!

The eye-popping sights and nose-plugging odors of DreamWorks'' latest animated film are captured here in a full-color storybook featuring scratch ''n'' stink stickers.

Increasing word power sounds like one of those dreary chores best palmed off on somebody else. The Yo Momma Vocabulary Builder, the first in Fall Media''s series of irreverent, educational books, makes the activity not only endurable but irresistible. The authors use classic dissing and one-upmanship to slyly introduce young readers to a wide range of words. A typical entry, for "emaciated," first presents the word as a joke ("Yo momma''s so emaciated, she can hula hoop in a fruit loop."). The pronunciation is then given, along with a detailed, humor-inflected definition ("too skinny . . . skeletal") that invokes pop culture phenomena like supermodels, the Olson twins, Gollum from Lord of the Rings, and Ally McBeal. The book ties neatly into the "Yo Momma" phenomenon seen in recent MTV shows as well as books and games, and is an ideal gift choice for parents and educators looking to give young people a book they''ll enjoy and share.

Presents a collection of twenty-seven thousand humorous movie plot combinations and ideas.

In a world that has produced New Coke, the Flowbee, and Yentl, it''s hard to imagine that there are any ideas worse than the ones that have actually made it to market. But there are. The World''s Worst . . . Book is the ultimate catalog of the most inane, insane, outrageous, and just plain out-there ideas never to have hit the market--at least not yet. Only here will you find: *" The World''s Worst . . . Harry Potter Books (including Harry Potter and the Hired Prom Date) * "The World''s Worst . . . Blues Songs (including "My Kid Didn''t Get into Harvard, but He Did Get into Brown, His Safety School") * "The World''s Worst . . . Stores (featuring Soiled Linens ''n'' Things) Not to mention online haircuts, Charlotte''s Web of Anti-Semitism, Salmon Chunk Ice Cream, and lots more godawful stuff.

Offers a series of choices between potentially equally desirable--or undesirable--alternatives, such as having six lips or six fingers, and includes blank choices for readers to develop.

Boxed set includes: The Original Junior Edition Extreme Junior Edition Weird Junior Edition

This is the Would You Rather...? book for which audiences have been asking. The authors'' trademark imagination and humor are on display in this no-holds-barred assortment of devilish dilemmas. The perfect icebreaker, Would You Rather...?: The Dirty Version captures the sexual, the seedy, the sardonic, and the silly in the unique tone that has made the Would You Rather...? series popular with readers of all ages.

"A mash-up of Guts, gore and ghastilness! A Would You Rather...? Double Feature" --cover.

Poses a new selection of edgy questions designed to promote fun and creative thought, including "Would you rather have all your shirts made from flypaper or all your pants made from plastic wrap?"

Offers strange dilemmas designed to make the reader both ponder and wince, presented as a series of grotesque questions, such as "Would you rather gargle a mouthful of dog slobber or eat a plate of earthworm spaghetti?"