Best Selling Books by Jim Benton

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don''t tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I''m friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline''s uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker''s puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn''t live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly has been keeping diaries for years . . . and each one just gets funnier! But she has no idea that anyone is reading them. So please, please, please don''t tell her.Something strange is happening at Mackerel Middle School. Even stranger than Jamie and Isabella becoming friends with Angeline. (Which is still really, really strange.) Jamie can suddenly and inexplicably understand the weirdest and most mysterious creatures around: Boys.And there''s only one logical explanation --- superpowers.

New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary!Dear Dumb Diary,I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker''s nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don''t usually kick so I did that."What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart.

Middle schooler Jamie Kelly returns with another dumb diary: “You’ll laugh out loud at what this girl has to say.” —Knight Ridder Tribune Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It’s true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline’s flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she’s lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline’s failure to not be perfect. Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don’t tell her . . . Praise for New York Times–bestselling author Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Read the hilarious, candid (& sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school''s prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom''s nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You''ll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out!

New York Times–Bestselling Author: Middle schooler Jamie Kelly spends lots of time writing in her diary—but right now she’s taking a peek at someone else’s . . . It’s not easy being a middle-schooler, and nobody knows that better than Jamie Kelly. There are surprises around every corner: some good, some bad, all dumb. But when Jamie inherits a trunk of her grandmother’s things, she never expects to find the biggest surprise of all—Grandma’s diary. Violating the privacy of a diary is something Jamie would never do . . . unless she was absolutely certain that she wanted to do it. And when she does, she learns that, deep down, everyone is exactly the same. Dumb. By the way, Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don’t tell her. And definitely don’t tell her that she’s the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on streaming. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)

SUGAR AND SPICE? NO WAY!

Goosebumps and Bill Nye the Science Guy fans, meet Franny! Being a mad scientist in the modern world is very hard work. With so much that needs to be done in such a short period of time, multitasking can become overwhelming. Franny needs some additional help. But for Franny there is only one person in the world she trusts to help her with her experiments: herself. So she acquires assistance the mad-scientist way…by building a few real, live, steel-plated Franbots!

"Beauty is only skin deep, but hate goes all the way to the bone." -- back cover.

It''s time...for a change!

Jim Benton brings on the humor in a brand-new line of board books! I have a fnurgle but I can''t find him.Where''s my fnurgle?Oh, look. My fnurgle''s on the chair.Don''t you see my fnurgle there?Jim Benton, the international bestselling author and illustrator of Dear Dumb Diary, presents a clever, rollicking new board book program that will leave toddlers wide-eyed and laughing. Fans of Sandra Boynton will rejoice in this fresh line of funny stories!Each board book features: - Hilarious stories based on early concepts - Endearing characters- Young, bold, colorful artwork

Fans of Goosebumps and Bill Nye the Science Guy will fall head over heels for Franny K. Stein, who is back with another laugh-out-loud experimental adventure in the tenth book in the Mad Scientist series. Franny K. Stein has had quite enough of her feelings getting in the way. So she physically removes them with the help of one of her machines. But it turns out that not having feelings can make things even worse, especially when you’ve accidentally released a virus that’s turning everybody into toads. Good thing she has the help of her grandma, Granny Fran, and her Sense of Duty to help her shake the apathy.

Franny K. Stein, Mad Scientist, has always had her eye on world domination, but she has to start somewhere...like her class elections! If people voted for her, they were giving her all the control she wanted. But Franny''s platform doesn''t have the same appeal as her competitors who are offering new playground equipment, so she finds another platform...The Frandidate. Made of DNA samples from a dog, a chameleon and a parrot, along with a scrap of carpet (so she''ll know where people stand), Franny creates the perfect candidate who says and does exactly what people want to hear! But soon her suit starts making promises she knows she won''t be able to keep and Franny realizes she might have gone too far. The Frandidate will give you everything you want, science, humor and some old fashioned politics!

Dear Dumb Diary.

Jim Benton brings on the humor in a brand-new line of board books! Robot kitties everywhere!They''re on the ground. They''re in the air.They''re flying low. They''re flying high,some far away, and some nearby.Jim Benton, the international bestselling author and illustrator of Dear Dumb Diary, presents a clever, rollicking new board book program that will leave toddlers wide-eyed and laughing. Fans of Sandra Boynton will rejoice in this fresh line of funny stories!Each board book features: - Hilarious stories based on early concepts - Endearing characters- Young, bold, colorful artwork

Everyone''s favorite Mackerel Middle-Schooler, Jamie Kelly, is back with another hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice) diary!There''s a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School.Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It''s enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can''t help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world?

Bestselling cartoonist Jim Benton of It’s Happy Bunny and Dear Dumb Diary fame has also been posting whimsical, dry-humored, and at-times nasty cartoons on Reddit.com, where nearly half of the top-100 cartoons on the “Cartoons” subreddit are his. Now, for the first time, these cartoons have been gathered into a single book. From wry observations about the absurdities of life and acerbic comments to poetic musings, from cats and dogs to humans, and from one style to another, this compendium will astound readers as it exposes them to the breadth of Benton’s seemingly inexhaustible talent for humor.

Organization is for people who are just too lazy to spend two hours looking for something. Get organized with this laugh-out-loud funny school planner, full of snark, wit . . . and stickers! This cool trifold format is packed with laughs! Jamie Kelly brings DDD fans a school planner with two sheets of stickers, a pen, and three interactive books: Glamorously Important Notes, All About Me, and Addresses of People I Don''t Hate (Mostly). Complete with fill-ins, prompts, extra places to jot down assignments, and some brand-new full color art, this is one school planner everyone will want! After all, PLANNING to put something off until the day before it''s due is a totally legitimate kind of planning.

Franny K. Stein is back with another laugh-out-loud experimental adventure in the ninth book in the Mad Scientist series from Jim Benton, the New York Times bestselling author-illustrator of the Dear Dumb Diary and It’s Happy Bunny series. Franny K. Stein isn’t a good baker. But when she sees that the fundraisers for the art and music departments at her school aren’t making enough money, she decides to take matters into her own hands. Using her genius mind and kitchen, which is really just another type of laboratory, she sets out to create The Most Delicious Muffin On Earth! Sales, of course, go through the roof. But bad things can happen when people become exposed to the best thing they’ve ever tasted. They can become...overenthusiastic.

Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

LESS MUSH... MORE CRUSH!

Jim Benton, bestselling author of Dear Dumb Diary and Franny K. Stein, brings us a fresh new middle grade novel about breaking all the rules! There''s nothing Jake likes more than some good trash-picking, so when his elderly neighbors move out and leave an especially promising-looking pile of household refuse on the curb, he goes right for it. He only has the chance to grab one box before his mom catches him and orders him in for dinner, though. When mysterious goings-on begin to occur in the neighborhood, the trio investigates the hidden box from Jack''s garage. In it, they find the Secret Parent''s Handbook and with it all the means to subvert the irrational rules and petty tyranny of their home lives. No more clean rooms! No more vegetables! No more brushed hair or washed hands! It''s all videogames and junk food all the time! But the authorities -- and the resistance -- have taken notice of the strange goings-on in Jack and his friends'' neighborhood. And they are closing in . . .

Jim Benton brings on the humor in a brand-new line of board books! Piggy paints big. Piggy paints little.Piggy paints pigs with a kitty in the middle.Piggy paints little. Piggy paints big.Piggy paints a pretty little polka-dot pig.Jim Benton, the international bestselling author and illustrator of Dear Dumb Diary, presents a clever, rollicking new board book program that will leave toddlers wide-eyed and laughing. Fans of Sandra Boynton will rejoice in this fresh line of funny stories!Each board book features: - Hilarious stories based on early concepts - Endearing characters- Young, bold, colorful artwork

An all-new series from New York Times bestselling author, Jim Benton! From New York Times bestselling author Jim Benton, meet Catwad! He''s blue, he''s a bit of a grouch, and his best friend is a dim-witted cat named Blurmp who can see the bright side of anything. From pizza and computers, to love and happiness, this crabby tabby has a funny take on just about everything, and he''s not afraid to share it. This collection of short comic stories will make even the grumpiest of grouches crack up and is not to be missed!

Jim Benton''s first cartoon collection was nominated for an Eisner. This new volume collects more of Jim''s most popular strips from Reddit, shining a light on talking animals, relationships, fart jokes, and death. From whimsical to cutting, from gross to poignant, Benton''s grasp of the form is on full and hilarious display.

Two heads...Are dumber than one.

A bear and a frog decide to climb a mountain. The bear is determined to reach the top, but the frog isn’t so sure. When everyone says you’ve gone far enough, how do you decide to keep going? A whimsical journey of self-discovery, as well as a gentle look at the ups and downs of friendship, this inspirational book features the elegant art and gentle humor of cartoonist’s cartoonist Jim Benton.

Jamie Kelly, a student at Mackerel Middle School, shares her angst in her diary over her aunt''s upcoming wedding in which she is a bridesmaid, the school dance, and a taco rendezvous with the cutest boy in school.

Franny K. Stein is back with another laugh-out-loud experimental adventure in the eighth book in the Mad Scientist series from Jim Benton, the New York Times bestselling author-illustrator of the Dear Dumb Diary and It’s Happy Bunny series. Franny K. Stein isn’t a fan of glamour. She doesn’t style her hair, the thought of wearing makeup makes her want to gag, and she couldn’t care less about wearing dressy dresses when she’d much prefer her lab coat. But sometimes Franny wonders if her mom wishes she were different. Which gives Franny an idea…for an experiment! What if she can turn the beauty products her mom loves into something more exciting? Every experiment has its experimental error, and when Franny’s hair takes on a life of its own, Franny must save the day (and her hair) to finally realize her mom loves her just the way she is.

Isabella and Jamie collect clothes and a few bucks here and there for the Juvenile Optometry Federation. Hooray! Now Jamie feels as gentle and sweet as that pig Angeline. Includes grey-scale illustrations, author-profile and book preview.