New Releases by Jeff Foxworthy

Jeff Foxworthy has many talents. He''s the largest selling comedy-recording artist in history, a best-selling author, a multiple Grammy Award nominee, and one of the most successful comedians in the country, but his You Might Be a Redneck If . . . jokes have made him a star. His best redneck humor is featured in the Jeff Foxworthy''s You Might Be a Redneck If... 2013 Wall Calendar, making it the next best thing since Styrofoam. The Jeff Foxworthy''s You Might Be a Redneck If... 2013 Wall Calendar features illustrations from David Boyd accompanied by jokes from Jeff Foxworthy.

A trip to Silly Street is just the thing for any kid with a case of the sillies. With its endless selection of merriments—including unusual pets, wacky hats, balloon rides, bubble gum–chewing crows, and more—it''s the perfect place for expressing your zany side and laughing out loud. These fourteen poems, hand selected from Jeff Foxworthy''s popular Silly Street, will tickle new readers who are ready to read themselves to silliness and back again.

Children play a game of hide-and-seek. Illustrations contain hidden objects for which the reader may search.

In this hilarious collection of poems, comedian Jeff Foxworthy creates a neighborhood filled with fun, family, friends, and more. Here you''ll meet Cousin Lizzy, Uncle Ed and Aunt Foo Foo, cows with horns that don''t go beep, dads in sweaters, also sheep. From the thrill of flying to the imaginary planet Woosocket to bonding with a friend over a shared hatred of spinach, these poems capture the very essence of being a kid. Filled with sly humor and always affectionate, "Dirt on My Shirt" is sure to delight kids, big and little, everywhere.

America''s favorite Southern-fried, stand-up comedian and TV sitcom star Jeff Foxworthy brings his humor to the page in this riotous laugh-out-loud book. In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You''re in for a helluva good time!

New York Times bestselling humorist Jeff Foxworthy offers a hilarious illustrated guide to having the most fun possible at work while doing the least—without getting fired The better you are at your job, the longer your hours are going to be. And how many people on their deathbeds say “I wish I had spent more time at the office?” With that in mind, Jeff Foxworthy asks you to embrace the fact that you do stink at work (or secretly want to). How to Really Stink at Work will help you relieve yourself of all that responsibility and accountability—in sections like: • “Becoming Unfireable” (Get your boss drunk and record it) • “AvoidingWork”(When all else fails—that fire alarm’s not there for nothing!) • “Alienating Colleagues” (Nothing says “stay away from that guy” like a grossly inappropriate secret Santa gift) Filled with laugh-out-loud illustrations, How to Really Stink at Work is the funniest guide to not-getting-ahead you’ll ever read.

There’s no such thing as too much redneck. And it’s easy to understand why. A veritable gumbo of indigenous ingenuity, this deliciously distinct dialect rolls off the tongue like drool in the presence of a barbecue sandwich. Now, just in time for no time in particular, Jeff Foxworthy’s three bestsellers are rolled into one hilarious redneck reference. This practical, portable A-to-Z crash course will have you laughing and learning your way to flawless southern slang. Say after me: bay • ou (bi´-ü), v. and n. to purchase for another. “I just walked right up to her and said, ‘Hey darlin’, lemme bayou a drink.’ ” doo • dle (düd´-el), n. and v. a male person and his predicted actions. “Don’t even look at him, ’cuz that doodle kill you.” tor • toise (tort´-es), v. and n. to have imparted knowledge or wisdom to a group. “That stupid teacher never tortoise nothin’. ” Whether you’re a newbie looking to connect with your inner redneck or a seasoned pro hoping to sharpen your skills, The Complete Redneck Dictionary is the only reference you’ll ever need. Picking up Redneck (and this book) has never been easier.

Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like an• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .” i• Pod (í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.” uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.” No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.

As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It’s not who has the highest score, it’s who has the least fun playing it. And now, in his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares his invaluable tips for a lifetime of horrible drives and putts. • Get into the right frame of mind to play truly awful golf. Food poisoning or a killer hangover might be just the ticket to a robust three-digit score. • Try to get to the course promptly at tee time to avoid the hassle of warming up: “You’re only gonna hit five good shots in the course of the day; why waste even one on the driving range?” • The surefire way to screw up a great drive? As you walk to the tee, keep telling yourself, “Don’t screw up your drive.” If bad golf’s your goal, stress is your best friend. • Avoid fun. “Fun = relaxed = low scores . . . and that’s something we want to avoid at all cost. If you have a good hole, shake it off.” • Perhaps the most important element: Embrace the fact that you do stink at golf. Cheating. Cursing. Avoiding fairways. Reckless cart driving. How to Really Stink at Golf covers it all, from selecting the correct putter to use on a 385-yard drive to prolonging your stay in the sand trap to picking the perfect foursome for spectacularly bad golf (“you, your ex-wife, your girlfriend, your wife”). With Jeff Foxworthy as your guide, even a scratch golfer can add ten, twenty, maybe thirty strokes to his or her score–and possibly more if you attempt to play the back nine, too.

Clearly one redneck dictionary was not enough. And it’s no wonder. The South is positively bursting at the seams with colorful words and turns of phrases in this distinct dialect. Now men and women from all across this great land can further fine-tune their fluency and showcase their confidence when speaking to folks who hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. Need a crash course in this truly inspired lingo? Well, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary II puts the “vern” in “vernacular,” offering up a veritable gumbo of must-be-known selections: infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n. another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.” assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!” honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n. to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.” So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends.

Foxworthy celebrates the loving bond between fathers and their children. Bonds such as: You might be a redneck if your dad walks you to school because you are in the same grade. Your dad encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening at the lube rack. Beer bellies run in your family.

Here''s a close-up look at the qualities that make the red-neck male special. The book covers all the essentials, including his fashion sense, personal hygiene, choice of automobiles, mating rituals, prowess at entertaining, conversation skills, preferred leisure time activities, eating and drinking habits, and child-rearing expertise. How many women does it take to change a redneck? Only one, if her aim is good. Depends on how she looks, how much she weighs, and if her family has any property to hunt on. Four''one to hold his beer, two to undo his overalls, and one to pull on a clean pair of under-drawers. Twelve . . . in a jury box. Nobody knows''it''s never been done. Armed with this book, any redneck can learn to conduct himself so that no woman or her mother would ever consider asking him to change.

Foxworthy takes a stab at careers and the job market in his latest "Redneck" collection. "No Redneck Left Behind" is a perfect gift for redneck loved-ones or readers ready to embrace their inner redneck.

Whether readers live in a double wide or have hit the big time with a ranch with one-and-a-half baths, "Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover" will make them laugh at how some people live.

For readers who see the romance and beauty of correctly spelling a girlfriend''s name on a tattoo, serving fast food at a wedding reception, and watching a wife''s delivery video backwards for laughs, this gift book from Jeff Foxworthy is perfect.

You Might Be A Redneck if... You use a fishing license as a form of I.D. Your screen door has no screen. You''ve been on TV more than once describing what the tornado sounded like. You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time. You ever waved at traffic form your front porch wearing just your underwear. Containing more than 2,000 entries with more than 200 illustrations, You Might Be A Redneck if...This Is The Biggest Book You''ve Ever Read will be a must-own book for die-hard fans of Jeff Foxworthy. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form.

You might be a redneck if… You''ve ever left Santa Claus a PBR and a Slim Jim. You''ve ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. Your nativity scene has people wearing camouflage. Your outdoor Christmas decoration has a misspelled word. You ever gift wrapped a tire. Foxworthy''s version of this Christmas classic is one of the most played, and best-selling Christmas records every season. This book will be a wonderful holiday gift for the redneck in all of us.

Containing more than 2,000 entries and with more than 200 illustrations, Foxworthy''s newest offering will be a must-own book for his die-hard fans. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form.

The comedian and barbecue sauce entrepreneur--a man who takes his grilling seriously--delivers this hilarious collection of recipes for ribs, chicken, hot dogs, fish, hamburgers, pork chops, and numerous marinades.

Filled with 100% never-before-published material, this title is promoted as the final chapter of Foxworthy''s "redneck" joke collection. Illustrations.

Designed to generate impulse sales, titles in this line are carefully balanced for gift giving, self-purchase, or collecting. Little Books may be small in size, but they''re big in titles and sales.

This volume picks the most memorable lines from all six previous books and offer approximately 25 percent new material, including 150 previously unpublished You Might Be A Redneck If... punch lines. Let the laughter roll on.