New Releases by Gordon Neufeld

Într-o lume în care cantitatea de informații oferite atât părinților, cât și copiilor este atât de mare, încât a devenit prea greu de gestionat, Ține-ți copiii aproape te învață să-ți asculți instinctele și să devii un observator atent al fiului sau al fiicei tale. Cu o extraordinară experiență clinică în domeniul dezvoltării copilului, Gordon Neufeld și Gabor Maté descompun în termeni simpli noțiuni interdisciplinare din psihologie, neurologie și antropologie, pe care le îmbină abil atât cu experiențele personale, cât și cu ale pacienților care i-au inspirat. Vei afla de ce este nevoie de un sat întreg ca să crești un copil, cum să-l recâștigi pe cel mic, cum să restabilești bazele atașamentului, atât de important în relația cu el, și cum să contrabalansezi tendințele decadente ale societății, care țintesc direct la tineri.

A woman follows her guru on a wearying trek through the wilderness. A teenage girl who will soon be married in a polygamous sect makes a break for freedom. These are just two stories in this startling collection by K. Gordon Neufeld, author of "Heartbreak and Rage"and "Cult Fiction."

Mass weddings. Matching ceremonies where people meet their future spouses for the first time. Desperate flower-sellers approaching bar customers late at night. Isolated farms where young men and women are rapidly transformed into fanatical devotees of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. All these are well-known aspects of life in the cult known as the Unification Church, often called the "Moonies". In Heartbreak and Rage: Ten Years Under Sun Myung Moon, a Cult Survivor''s Memoir, K. Gordon Neufeld recalls his own participation in all of these events in a powerful and engrossing, and occasionally wistful and tender, memoir. In Part Three, Neufeld recounts the dilemma he finds himself in after two years of study at the Unification Theological Seminary. For the first time in his cult life, he no longer feels he must obey the leaders automatically. Instead, he believes the cult''s failure to achieve greater success is precisely because the cult leaders require members to repress their feelings. Neufeld resolves to be an empathetic listener and to encourage other members to express their real feelings; in short, he determines to justify his existence by love, and not by works. As he wrestles with his dilemma, he writes his thoughts down in a small diary which he keeps while in Boston. Upon his return to the Unification Theological Seminary in September, he is abruptly sent away by the Seminary leaders. Neufeld opts to go to Los Angeles to undergo Primal Therapy, a radical treatment he had investigated before he joined the Unification Church. While working with other cult members, he sets aside money for the treatment. However, during this waiting time, he is called to a gathering of members in New York, where Moon matches him up to a woman he had never met, who is now to become his eternal spouse. Yet Moon has not yet selected a date for the actual wedding ceremony, so in the interim, all the matched members must remain celibate. In Neufeld''s case, he must get to know his fiancée by correspondence only, since she lives in England and Scotland. Once back in Los Angeles, Neufeld returns to his plans to undergo Primal Therapy. As time goes on, he realizes that his fiancée is deeply troubled and is at risk of leaving the cult, so he drops his therapy in order to travel to see her. There, he quickly falls in love with her. Yet his situation is impossible: the cult will not permit him to live with his new love, and she must remain in England, while he must return to Los Angeles. One year later, Neufeld is again abruptly called to attend a cult mass wedding ceremony at Madison Square Garden in New York; yet, even after the wedding ceremony, he must continue to remain celibate and to wait at least three more years before he can live with his beloved. Gradually, as his financial position becomes more and more difficult, and as his fiancée again pleads with him to visit her, Neufeld concludes that he must abandon his Primal Therapy treatment. Later, in a desperate effort to raise money to visit his fiancée, he returns to his parents'' home in Canada, so he can work legally. During his time in Calgary, Neufeld remains loyal to Moon, but he finds himself in a city where no other Unification Church members live. But before he can afford the trip overseas to see his fiancée, she writes him to tell him it is over. Now, Neufeld must decide whether to remain in the cult, or to leave.

Why would an aspiring young writer of fiction and poetry such as author K. Gordon Neufeld join an extreme religion like the Unification Church of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon? How did Neufeld''s involvement in this group impact his creative writing, and how did writing impact his involvement? After leaving the group, how did Neufeld process his experiences through creative writing? Finally, what value can writing have for other survivors of extreme religions? These are the questions this book explores, while providing samples of Neufeld''s creative writing from 1973 to 2013. The four questions are explored in a series of four academic papers presented at conferences of the International Cultic Studies Association. The sample writings range from highly intense personal reflections to zany and irreverent spoofs, and include many sensitive, thoughtful short stories and poems. This collection will be of interest to academics wanting to understand the psychological roots and effects of cultic involvement, and also to general readers who just want to read a good story.

Uno psicologo e un medico uniscono le proprie forze per affrontare una delle tendenze più allarmanti e fraintese del nostro tempo: i coetanei che prendono il posto dei genitori nella vita dei figli. Il dottor Neufeld ha dato a questo fenomeno il nome di “orientamento ai coetanei”, riferendosi con esso al fatto che bambini e ragazzi tendono a rivolgersi ai coetanei per avere indicazioni rispetto ai valori, al senso di ciò che è giusto o sbagliato, all’identità e ai codici di comportamento. Ma questo orientarsi ai coetanei deteriora la coesione familiare, impedisce un sano sviluppo del bambino, avvelena l’atmosfera scolastica, e favorisce la crescita di una cultura giovanile aggressiva, ostile e sessualizzata. Questo libro aiuta i genitori – insieme con gli insegnanti e gli operatori sociali – a comprendere la natura inquietante del fenomeno e fornisce soluzioni per ristabilire la giusta preminenza del legame spontaneo che unisce genitori e figli. I concetti, i princìpi, e i consigli pratici in esso contenuti daranno ai genitori il potere e la forza di essere per i propri figli ciò che la natura ha inteso: la fonte vera di contatto, sicurezza e calore. Gordon Neufeld, PH.D., è psicologo clinico a Vancouver, e ha trascorso gran parte della sua vita professionale dedicandosi all’elaborazione di teorie coerenti in grado di spiegare l’evoluzione del bambino. È conosciuto in Canada per il suo lavoro sull’aggressività e la violenza fra i giovani e i bambini. L’indirizzo del suo sito è www.GordonNeufeld.com.

This parenting classic is as relevant today as it was when it was first published, shining a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our time: how the influence of peers, magnified by social media and video game culture, is replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it. WINNER OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PUBLICATIONS GOLD AWARD • “A worthy book that brings us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia Children take their lead from their friends: Being “cool” matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity, and codes of behavior, peer groups are often far more influential than parents. But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous—it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious, and alienated. In Hold On to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with psychologist Gordon Neufeld to pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to “reattach” to your children and earn back their loyalty and love. By helping to reawaken our instincts, Neufeld and Maté empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of enrichment, security, and warmth for their children.

This is a visionary book that goes beyond the usual explanations to illuminate a crisis of unrecognized proportions. The authors show us how we are losing contact with our children and how this loss undermines their development and threatens the very fabric of sociey. Most importantly they offer, through concrete examples and clear suggestions, practical help for parents to fulfill their instinctual roles.

Dans le monde d''aujourd''hui, le rôle de parent est de plus en plus difficile. Nous nous heurtons à une concurrence insidieuse qui menace d''éloigner nos enfants de nous et, simultanément, nous nous éloignons de notre rôle parental. Nous ne disposons plus de la base économique et sociale qui permet à une culture de soutenir les parents et de considérer leur mission comme sacrée. En fait, pour être de bons parents dans le monde d''aujourd''hui, nous devons avant tout identifier ce qui cloche dans l''éducation de nos enfants et de nos adolescents. Cette prise de conscience nous aidera à relever un défi crucial: établir avec nos enfants des relations dans lesquelles nous prendrons l''initiative de les guider sans recourir à la coercition ni aux sanctions artificielles. C''est dans le cadre de cette relation que nos enfants pourront se développer et devenir des êtres motivés, autonomes, conscients de leur valeur et respectueux des sentiments, des droits et de la dignité de leurs semblables.

Mass weddings. Matching ceremonies where people meet their future spouses for the first time. Desperate flower-sellers approaching bar customers late at night. Isolated farms where young men and women are rapidly transformed into fanatical devotees of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. All these are well-known aspects of life in the Unification Church, often called the "Moonies". In Heartbreak and Rage: Ten Years Under Sun Myung Moon, a Cult Survivor''s Memoir, K. Gordon Neufeld recalls his own participation in all of these events in a powerful and engrossing, and occasionally wistful and tender, memoir. Neufeld recounts his own rise in the ranks of the Unification Church to the position of a leader-in-training at the Unification Theological Seminary, a promotion that indirectly led to his growing disillusionment. Yet even when he found himself rejected by the woman Moon had chosen for his bride, and by the church to which he had been unswervingly dedicated, he refused to give up, but carried on until there was absolutely no way to continue. At last, demonstrating great courage, Neufeld broke free from his state of mental transfixion without the aid of deprogrammers. This is an unforgettable story of persistence, devotion, love and loss.

A correria do dia-a-dia é tanta que às vezes as coisas mais importantes e significativas ficam de lado, esperando sua vez. Mas, quando se trata do seu filho, ele pode cansar de esperar sua atenção, não é mesmo? E o que acontece então? Em ''Pais ocupados, filhos distantes'', os autores explicam o que os pais podem fazer para melhorar o relacionamento com os filhos distantes, desobedientes ou agressivos. Soluções práticas e exemplos concretos mostram como adultos responsáveis podem, com intuição e afetividade, guiar seus filhos a um amadurecimento emocional saudável. Um trabalho cuidadoso e provocador, baseado em mais de trinta anos de experiência clínica, que vai surpreender pais, psicólogos e profissionais da educação.