Best Selling Books by Geoff Tibballs

Recounting over 2,000 years of daft despots, raving rulers and potty potentates, this unique look at the world’s craziest kings and queens will leave you shocked, amazed – and often in fits of laughter. From the madness of ancient Rome, exemplified by the Emperor Caligula who wanted to appoint his horse to the consulate, we go on to meet Charles VI of France, convinced he was made of glass, Queen Juana of Spain, never separated from her late husband’s coffin, and King Otto of Bavaria, who tried to ward off hereditary insanity by shooting a peasant a day. Throughout history, royalty and scandal have gone hand-in-hand like a Prince of Wales and his mistress – witness the pocket-picking Farouk I of Egypt, Augustus II of Poland, who fathered an estimated 355 children, only one of whom was legitimate, and, more recently, Britain’s master of tact and diplomacy, Prince Philip. From kleptomania and incest to transvestism and even pigeon fancying, all these and many more colourful characters can be found in this revealing trawl of the world’s royal families.

When we think of the world''s great sporting events, we tend to focus on spectacles such as the World Cup, the Olympics, the Derby, the Monaco Grand Prix or the University Boat Race. Yet there is also an alternative world of competition where participants risk life, limb and often dignity for meagre rewards in truly weird sporting pursuits. Step forward the Indonesian sport of sepak bola api, a variation of football in which the barefoot players kick a ball that is on fire; Germany''s Mud Olympics, at which competitors play soccer, volleyball and handball while knee-deep in mud; yak racing from Mongolia; Oregon''s Pig-N-Ford Races where drivers speed around the track while carrying a live pig under one arm; and Australia''s variation of the Boat Race, the Henley-on-Todd Regatta, where, instead of rowing, teams carry their boats along the dry bed of the River Todd. This book lists geographically the world''s 100 weirdest sports events, giving full details of their rules and colourful history. They include the grotesque (the national sport of Afghanistan is buzkashi, in which riders on horseback aim to drag the headless carcass of a dead goat towards their opponents'' goal), the dangerous (Japanese hardcore wrestlers batter each other with glass fluorescent light tubes instead of their bare hands), and the downright daft in the form of the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships, the World Flounder Tramping Championships, the World Gravy Wrestling Championships and the World Shin-Kicking Championships. Races are staged in all kinds of transportation. Canada is home to the Great Klondike Outhouse Race (for portable toilets), the Vancouver Bathtub Race, and the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta; Colorado hosts the annual Emma Crawford Coffin Races; and the pride of Yorkshire is the Great Knaresborough Bed Race, where teams push a bed (containing human occupant) along a 2.4-mile course that requires a wet crossing of the River Nidd. Animals feature heavily, too. As well as traditional races for ostriches (complete with jockeys), cockroaches (no jockey required), armadillos, sheep, and Oklahoma City''s splendid Dachshund Dash, rubber-duck racing is one of the fastest growing sports of recent years with events being held in several countries. Other competitions test an animal''s ability to do more than just run or float, such as elephant polo, dog surfing, camel wrestling, rabbit show jumping and pig diving. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that in the near future we may even be treated to synchronized pig diving. Although the plunging porkers might disagree, the appeal of many of these sports is enhanced by taking part. If cheese rolling or volcano boarding are too energetic for your taste, ice golf or underwater hockey too uncomfortable, and lingerie football wouldn''t show off your legs to best effect, you could always enjoy more leisurely pursuits like the world championships in rock, paper, scissors or pooh sticks. If, on the other hand, you prefer a watching brief, you could try your hand at cow patty bingo, a North American contest where a field is divided into numbered squares, and contestants bet on which square the cow will take a poop. It is probably the only occasion in life when you can make money from one number two on top of another.

YES, IT''S EUROVISION TIME AGAIN! THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE EUROVISION FAN IN YOUR LIFE! For 60 years the Eurovision Song Contest has existed in a parallel universe where a song about the construction of a hydro-electric power station is considered cutting-edge pop, where half a dozen warbling Russian grandmothers are considered Saturday night entertainment, where a tune repeating the word ''la'' 138 times is considered a winner, and where Australia is considered part of Europe During those sixty years we have witnessed scandals: in 1957, Denmark''s Birthe Wilke and Gustav Winckler enjoyed an outrageously long 13-second kiss because the stage manager forgot to say ''cut'' during the live broadcast. We have witnessed national outrage: the 1976 Greek entry was a savage indictment of Turkish foreign policy in Cyprus. But most have all we have witnessed silly costumes, terrible lyrics and performers as diverse as Celine Dion and Dustin the Turkey. This book chronicles the 100 craziest moments in the history of Eurovision - the drag acts, the bad acts, the nul points heroes and the night in Luxembourg when the floor manager warned the audience not to stand up while they applauded because they might be shot by security forces. It captures some of the magic from this yearly event that continues to beguile and bemuse in equal measure.

When we think of the world''s great museums, we tend to think of the Louvre, the Guggenheim or the Victoria and Albert. We do not immediately think of the Dog Collar Museum, the Kansas Barbed Wire Museum, the Museum of Broken Relationships or Barney Smith''s Toilet Seat Art Museum. Yet scattered across the globe are museums dedicated to every conceivable subject, from bananas to Bigfoot, lawnmowers to leprechauns, teapots to tapeworms, mustard to moist towelettes, and pencils to penises. Many are serious collections housed in grand buildings, others are located in tiny premises and are open to visitors by appointment only, often the result of one person''s crazy lifetime obsession. This book lists the world''s 100 weirdest museums in order of quirkiness, encompassing such delights as The Museum of Witchcraft in Cornwall, a museum in Kentucky that houses 800 ventriloquists'' dolls, the Museum of Bad Art in Massachusetts, the Paris Sewer Museum, the French Fry Museum in Bruges, the Museum of Contraception and Abortion in Vienna, the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Tennessee, Japan''s Momofuku Ando Instant Ramen Museum (quite possibly the world''s only museum devoted to instant noodles), and the Kunstkamera in St Petersburg, home to Peter the Great''s collection of oddities including deformed fetuses and the decapitated head of a love rival preserved in vinegar. After all, what holiday is complete until you have seen a 300-year-old decapitated human head in a jar? Each entry will include address, contact and admission details, so the next time you are in Berlin there is no excuse for missing out on a visit to the Currywurst Museum, the world''s leading museum dedicated to sausages in hot ketchup.

Will you be flummoxed by this Great British distraction? Do you know queuing etiquette? Twenty-one different ways to describe rain? Then this quiz book might be just your cup of tea. Politely challenge yourself, your family and your friends with questions on British culture, language, etiquette, of course, the weather, as well as lots of other essential, quintessential British subjects. Each quiz comprises 21 questions and answers are based on the real results from national surveys and polls. Hours of brain-bamboozling fun for all the family!

Never be stuck for a wicked line again! - the ultimate collection of insults Here is the biggest and best ever collection of insults and sharp retorts for when you just wish you could have thought of something faster. Editor Geoff Tibballs presents more than 5,000 come-backs, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips and quotes, for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of putdowns, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family and marriage jibes - here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother''s so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn''t have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You''d be out of your depth in a puddle. Don''t you need a licence to be that ugly? I''d like to see things from your point of view but I can''t get my head that far up my arse. I''d love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.

The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.

The classic pocket guide to the language of London. This wonderful little guide to cockney rhyming slang contains over 1,700 old and new rhymes translated from Cockney to English and English to Cockney, including: Custard and jelly - telly Hot cross bun - nun Lemon tart - smart Rock ’n’ roll - dole Sticky toffee - coffee ...and many more. Master the art of the Cockney rhyme and discover the Cockney origins of common British phrases.

Take a look at the world''s weirdest people, places and creatures within the pages of this extraordinary new book. Truly startling facts! Totally bizarre images! Utterly electrifying tales! It is sensational!

With over 10,000 entries, arranged by topic and fully indexed, here is a giant new collection of witticisms and wisecracks for the 21st century. If you''re looking for a bon mot for an after-dinner talk, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this fabulous fat book provides all you''ll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Woody Allen, Dave Barry, P. J. O''Rourke, Winston Churchill, Will Rogers, Jay Leno, P. G. Wodehouse, Bill Cosby, W. C. Fields, Oscar Wilde, Spike Milligan, Groucho Marx, George Bernard Shaw and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! ''Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.'' P. J. O''Rourke ''I''m sure sex wouldn''t be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It''s not that sex isn''t good, but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.'' Ronaldo

Stocking a garden with plants can be an expensive business, so there are few things more frustrating than when the prized specimen for which you have paid a king''s ransom either online or at a garden centre shrivels up and dies within a year or so of purchase. If you can prove that the plant was half-dead when it arrived, you may able to obtain a refund from some online retailers, but for the most part you have to put it down to experience and make a firm mental note not to buy fussy plants in future. The problem is that many websites and catalogues claim that everything they stock is easy to grow. Herbaceous perennials are a particular minefield. Too often you are told that a certain plant ''will come back year after year'' without fail when in reality it is either so tender that the only chance of it surviving an average British winter is in a greenhouse or it is a short-lived perennial that is unlikely to flourish beyond two years anyway - and even then only if the local slugs and snails are on a diet. This book cuts through the horticultural sales pitches by listing 100 plants which, for little care beyond the essential watering at planting time, can reliably be expected to thrive in just about any garden. These plants are all but indestructible - pests give them a wide berth, they will prosper in any reasonable garden soil and will withstand anything that the UK climate throws at them. Divided into sections for shrubs, conifers, climbers, perennials, grasses, annuals, alpines and bulbs and with each entry having a Value For Money (VFM) rating out of 10, this easy-to-use guide will prove invaluable not only for the new gardener but also for old hands who are fed up with wasting time and money on plants that all too rapidly lose the will to live. With these suggestions, you can be assured of year-round colour and interest in your garden for the minimum of effort.

An encyclopedia of oddities features unexpected and unimaginable people, places, and creatures from around the world.

"Traces the history of the popular British comedy series, and offers plot summaries for all 69 episodes." -- Amazon.com.

In New Year, Same You you''ll find lots of laugh-out-loud humour to brighten your day (or not). Filled with words from the wise, this is the perfect book for grumps everywhere.

An illustrated collection of oddities that are sure to shock the reader.

Nobody does irony or sarcasm like the English. The Wicked Wit of England is celebration of British humour, featuring a collection of stories, anecdotes, quips and quotes that capture the various idiosyncrasies of the English character.

''He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn''t like it - you can see it all over their faces'' - Ron Atkinson ''Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the city centre'' - Oscar Wilde Whether over the moon or sick as a parrot, sportsmen and women can invariably be relied upon to come out with a humorous quote...even if it''s not always intentional. The Bowler''s Holding, The Batsman''s Willey provides the definitive collection of sporting wit, from participants and observers alike. The book covers the full gamut of the sports spectrum and provides over 4,000 side-splittingly funny quotes - some examples of incisive sporting wit, others inadvertent howlers never to be forgotten; ranging from the cutting remarks of Brian Clough and Muhammad Ali to the studied observations of John Arlott and the hilarious gaffes of Murray Walker. The Bowler''s Holding, The Batsman''s Willey is an absolute must for any sports fan.

A tribute to Peter Sellers, and celebration of his career in comedy. There are tales of behind-the-scenes antics and practical jokes, a list of film appearances, cast and crew notes, and insider gossip. Interviews with Paul Merton, Steve Coogan, Michael Palin and Spike Milligan are also featured.

We had a battle of magic at Odd Street School! A magician came to do a show and he tried to hatch a scary Zombie Bird out of a silver egg. Eekyfreak! But thanks to Bianca''s trombone, a secret trapdoor, and Martha being invisible ... the Zombie Bird turned out to be the funniest thing ever ha ha! (If you''re scared of magic like our friend Ellie, don''t worry. This book won''t turn you into a frog. Or a rabbit!) Hope you like it, and thanks for reading this BLURB!

More than 150 amusing and interesting lists, ranging from 10 Creatures With Their Own Lights to 20 Choice Political Insults and from 10 Curious Royal Deaths to 10 Near-misses in the Golf Majors. There are lists from the following categories: People, Creatures, Music, Film & TV, The World. and Sport.

"Dive into this eye-popping collection of mind-boggling facts and incredible photographs about all your favorite sports, and many more. From snow boarding to strongmen and basketball to BMX, it''s all here alongside wacky sports stories from the wonderful world of Ripley''s Believe it or Not".--p. [4] of cover.

A hilarious (or groan-worthy) look at the rite of passage that all dads go through. Do you think your jokes are hilarious, without fail? Ever thought something was sidesplittingly funny only to have the rest of your family look at you with pity and disdain? It probably means that you''ve succumbed to the dorky, ill-advised things all Dads say and do - the things you swore you''d never do! - you''ve fallen for Dad-isms. In this hilarious book you''ll find embarrassing anecdotes and true stories, cringeworthy jokes, sayings, quotes and all manner of quirky nonsense that dads come up with to keep you (but mostly him) amused. From excruciating things dads say at weddings to the cheesy phrases that make you sigh but him guffaw, from dad dancing to the crazy things they save up for the most inappropriate moments... these dad-isms are so bad they''re almost good.

Ageing is one of those unavoidable facts of life, so it''s best just to see the funny side of it. So as your physical attributes head southwards and your mental attributes head for the hills, reach for the The Little Book of Senior Jokes, which provides you with the perfect way to laugh off any of the obstacles old age throws at you.

Following victory in the Champions League 2005, Liverpool seem to be on the up, under their manager Rafa Benitez. It has people, ranging from Graeme Souness through Michael Owen, Jamie Redknapp to Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard. Liverpool has a proud tradition and a loyal support. This book aims to capture the flavour of both.

A celebration of the first ten years of Channel 4''s Brookside, chronicling its background, the original aims of the series and its evolution. The book includes a month-by-month plot summary from the first episode, a detailed look at how the show is made, and profiles of cast and characters.

An omnibus edition of three true-crime books - Contract Killers, containing 15 tales of hired murderers; Spree Killers, exploring cases involving orgies of random violence; and Sex Killers, featuring individuals such as Jack the Ripper and Jeffrey Dahmer.

This illustrated encyclopaedia covers more than 300 British and American television detective series. The information includes descriptions of the series, characteristics of the detectives, their working methods and styles, cast lists, episode guides, production credits and transmission dates.

A book which ties in with the BBC''s revival of the 1970s show, Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased), which introduced television''s first ghost detective, who helped his very-much-alive partner to solve baffling cases.