New Releases by Dave Barry

Translation of: Peter and the Starcatchers.

A brilliantly funny look at the tumultuous recent past from the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. Remember when everything was going to go to hell when Y2K struck? That didn''t happen. Right? But what did happen? To provide a little perspective on a really messed-up millennium (so far), the one and only Dave Barry slips into his historian''s robe (it''s plush terrycloth) and revisits the defining moments in our country''s recent history, from the Bush years to-jeez, it''s still the Bush years! As an added bonus, Barry quickly "we''re busy here" tosses in the complete history of the last millennium, covering crucial turning points such as the invention of the pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to tech support). Fellow Americans, the time has come to bone up with Barry as he puts the hysterical in history.

While Peter is away from the island, James and the other Lost Boys insist on exploring a mysterious cave, despite Shining Pearl and Little Scallop''s warning that it is a dangerous place, inhabited by a creature known as the Goat Taker.

Little Scallop, a princess of the Mollusk tribe, longs to have a real adventure. So late one night, she and her mermaid friends sneak off to dive for pearls. They run into a fierce storm and a strange ship sailed by men who would love to capture a mermaid.

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.

A collection of single panel comics that the author/illustrator used to record his daily impressions of places he visited while on a year-long journey around the world following his college graduation. Annotated by the author.

Auf einem abgetakelten Kreuzfahrtschiff vor der Küste von Miami, auf dem Glücksspiele veranstaltet werden, treffen sich verschiedene skurrile Typen: Lebenslustige, schlagfertige Senioren, mittelmäßige Musiker, ein gescheiterter Kapitän, Drogendealer und andere Klein und Großkriminelle. Ein Hurrikan und verbrecherische Machenschaften auf dem Schiff führen zu turbulenten Verwicklungen und mörderischen Komplikationen rund um Liebe, Geld und Macht. Doch die Handlung ist nebensächlich. Der amerikanische Autor von satirischen Sachbüchern (zuletzt: \"Die Achse des Blöden\

The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide. In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on: • The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”) • RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot • Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts • Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida without ‘duh’”) • The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating • The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui • The choice between death and taxes And much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11. Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh. Also available as an eBook

On board of the Extravaganza of the Seas, a wildly diverse group of people find themselves in the middle of a tropical storm.

In The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer and Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry Dave goes on a testosterone riff, enlightening all about the intricacies of being male. At higher levels, testosterone causes destructive male behavior, the two most terrible kinds being: 1. War. 2. Do-it-yourself projects.

Here are four of the funniest books from Dave Barry. Follow his handyman hints and see how easy it is to beat a home into submission; to earning raves as a lover and a parent; and discover the key steps to kicking, scratching and cheating your way up the corporate ladder.

How "MacArthur Park" goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it took so long to bake it, and I''ll never have that recipe again, Rob was on the floor."

From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave''s, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you''ve passed the half-century mark: - You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando. - You have accepted the fact that you can''t possibly be hip. You don''t even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don''t care. - You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood. - You can''t name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song. So pop open a can of Geritol®, kick back in that recliner, grab those reading glasses, and let the good times roll--before they roll right over you!

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he''s splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims'' first Thanksgiving ("We''ve decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask: ¸ What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting? ¸ Where do the World''s Three Most Boring People meet? ¸ Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads? ¸ And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?

Chroniques déjantées d''Internet... et autres cyberdélires parodie les manuels d''informatique pour Neuneu. De l''âge des cavernes jusqu''à Windows 98, en passant par le traitement de texte, vous saurez enfin comment acheter et installer un ordinateur. L''auteur définit une poignée de termes techniques : \" ... plus un ordinateur possède de RAM (mémoire), plus vite il peut générer un MESSAGE D''ERREUR \". Et puis, c''est meilleur des guides qui vous prend par la main jusqu''au COMDEX à Las Vegas, le festival de Cannes de l''informatique, avec un petit détour par l''Adultdex, l''équivalent des Hot d''Or. Tous les singes de ponctuation bizarroïdes qu''on rencontre sur Internet n''auront plus de secret pour vous et vous deviendrez à votre tour aussi original que tout le monde. Enfin, vous assisterez à des dialogues en direct passionnants (\" Y''a quelqu''un du Texas, ici ? \") ainsi qu''à la fabuleuse histoire d''amour en ligne entre mme Ptate et Ray Adverb.

"RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES." --People A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts? Inside you''ll find juicy bytes on How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia And much, much more! "VERY FUNNY . . . After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of the book as a kind of screen saver for your brain." --New York Times Book Review

When Dave Barry is on the loose, no one is safe! What Dave Barry did for the men’s movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for . . . everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on: Football—Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform “the wave.” Sailing—There’s nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid. Gambling—Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, “Thank You for Not Smoking.” The best you can hope for is, “Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.” “The good news: he’s funny as ever. The bad news: the book is only 304 pages.”—Los Angeles Daily News

A collection of complete and unabridged texts of the original editions.

The humorist presents a selection of more than fifty one-of-a-kind gifts for the discriminating individual, furnishing vendor names, prices, and addresses for such treasures as elephant-print Republican pants and a capsule of rodent bones regurgitated by an owl.

The story of the formation of a rock band called the ROCK BOTTOM REMAINDERS, featuring Stephen King, Amy Tan, Matt Groening and many others, who joined together to perform for charity

Presents a collection of humor columns by Dave Barry, originally published in the "Miami Herald."

Yet another collection of wit and wisdom by Pulitzer Prize–winning humorist and author Dave Barry. This collection of essays explores a range of topics including traffic cops, dentists, and Congress. "Want to impress your friends? Tell them you read the latest work by the 1988 Pulitzer Prize-winner for commentary. Just don''t tell them it''s full of booger jokes".--Orange County Register

Humorous look at the many aspects of travel from air travel to European bus tours.

Contains the complete and unabridged texts of: Dave Barry''s guide to marriage and/or sex, Babies and other hazards of sex, Stay fit and healthy until you''re dead, and Claw your way to the top.

No book can guarantee you a long and happy relationship, even if the author didn''t know about your secret hygiene problem. But the cover of a book is no place to discuss that. In Dave Barry''s Guide to Marriage and/or Sex, one of America''s most beloved writers turns his keen, if somewhat rheumy, eye to the institution of marriage. Dating. \"These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas.\" Sex. \"I''m afraid that we must talk here about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding, and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.\" Marriage. \"Most squabbles start with money. For example, you want to buy food, while your spouse wants to buy a thoroughbred racehorse. It''s important, in these situations, for both of you to be willing to sit down and try to achieve a workable compromise. In this case, you could buy a thoroughbred racehorse and eat it.\"