Best Selling Books by Colin Thompson

Nothing and nobody is safe in this third collection of hysterically funny poetry. WARNING: only read this book if you have a sense of humour! There?s something really nasty on the bottom of my shoe It?s making me feel sick. Can?t you smell it too? I don?t know what it is, but it smells much worse than poo. COLIN THOMPSON''S hilarious poems are wonderfully matched by illustrator PETER VISKA''s zany illustrations. They team up again on My Brother Drinks Out of the Toilet and other poems and The Dog''s Just Been Sick in the Honda and other poems.

A riotous collection of poetry about toilet-water drinkers, non-stop eaters, rock ‘n’ roll teachers and much, much more! My brother drinks out of the toilet; He does it to make Mum go mad. Each time she catches him at it She says, ''I’m telling your dad.’ COLIN THOMPSON''s hilarious poems are wonderfully matched by illustrator PETER VISKA''s zany illustrations.They team up again on There''s Something Really Nasty on the Bottom of My Shoe and other poems and The Dog''s Just Been Sick in the Honda and other poems.

Every night for two years Peter searches in the library for the lost book on how to live forever, and when he finds it, he makes an important decision.

Betty and Ffiona cooking dinner? Run for your lives! Betty and her friend FFiona love cooking. The trouble is, they are both so useless at it that their families make themselves ill just to avoid their meals.It isn''t that their families are too kind to tell the girls how bad their cooking is - they actually tell them all the time. But Betty and Ffiona don''t believe them, and now the girls are planning to open Transylvania Waters''s first gourmet restaurant. Queen Mordonna forbids them . . . unless they can prove their cooking skills by winning TV''s most popular cooking contest. Will they poison all the judges, or will The Cheffie Olympics be Betty and Ffiona''s finest hour?

Radius Limpfast, TV producer extraordinaire, has sent the Contrast family to live in a glass dome on the moon. It will be the greatest reality TV show ever. What could possibly go wrong? Lots of things, actually, and the worst one is that after only a week on the moon, the family are bored out of their brains. But the door of their spaceship is locked and won''t open for five years. Luckily, rRego, their genius robot, comes to the rescue. He breaks into the spaceship, reprograms it, and the Contrasts set off back to Earth. Except, when they get there, Earth seems to have turned pink and got two more moons ...

Grandfather left his grandson a seafarer’s chest, a parrot called Titanic and a dream – the dream of looking for Atlantis. “Atlantis is right here all around you,” Grandfather said, “you have to learn how to look for it.” So when Grandfather dies, the boy starts looking: in the chest, on shelves, in books, under the stairs. Colin Thompson’s dazzingly detailed pictures richly illustrate the boy’s magical journey of discovery.

Comparing the short, happy lives of rats with the long, complicated, dissatisfied lives of humans can lead to depression for the humans. The answer: simplify.

Everyone''s favourite scaredy-cat bulldog is back -- with puppies! Everyone''s favourite scaredy-cat bulldog returns in a brand-new adventure! When we last saw Fearless, he had fallen head over paws for the beautiful Primrose. Now, they''ve got puppies to care for, and Fearless must figure out what it means to be a father. Fearless warns his children about the dangers lurking around every corner -- things like vacuum cleaners and handbags -- but when Primrose is in trouble, will Fearless put aside his fears or will it be brave pup Eric to the rescue? Another charming and hilarious tale about Fearless the bulldog, from award-winning duo Colin Thompson and Sarah Davis. Ages: 2-5

Colin Thompson''s stunning illustrations of ''home'' have been linked to verse and comment which they have inspired from children who have seen them. The result of this meeting between the vision of an artist and the honesty of children is an unusually imaginative book, touching, funny, provocative - and always surprising. Home will never seem quite the same again!

Hidden within the pages of this intriguing book are the letters and numbers which make up Ruby''s numberplate. Ruby was made in 1934 by Austin Motor Company in Longbridge, England. She’s shiny, she’s beautiful and this is her story.

Humorous fiction. Large Print. What happens when the King goes Doolally? Find out in the latest Floods adventure. Everyone gets old, even witches and wizards. Their backs get stiff. Their feet get sore, and their brains go and live far, far away. Not even Nerlin Flood, the King of Transylvania Waters, is immune to the curse of old age. The rest of the family have noticed that Nerlin is slipping into total Doolallyness - he even has an invisible friend called Geoffrey - Geoffrey, who warns him not to eat broccoli because it will give him global warming. Will the Old Crones be able to cure him, or is Nerlin doomed to spend his twilight years talking to the wall, wearing a crooked jacket and incompetence pants? Which is actually a more accurate description of a straitjacket.

The Great Montefiasco''s magic tricks are so bad that his audiences find them hilarious, and when he hires the Fabulous--but clumsy--Betty as his assistant, the duo''s fame is assured.

For as long as anyone can remember, Oscar has played his violin outside the theatre. Every night, as the people queue for their tickets, Oscar fills the air with his music and the echo of his lost dreams. In the old days, his daughter, Marietta, had been there as well, dancing. For just as Oscar dreams of being a famous violinist, it was Marietta''s dream to be a famous ballet dancer. But Marietta became ill and now Oscar plays alone. Some nights, though, he catches sight of Marietta''s ghost, dancing under the street light. One night, Oscar''s dream comes true and he is invited to play in the theatre in front of an audience. They are swept away by his music and his skill. But under the glare of the spotlight, Oscar can''t see Marietta dancing. He decides to play only outside on the pavement, where he and Marietta can perform together. ''Don''t worry,'' he says. ''I won''t leave you again.'' A lyrical tale of love, loss and music by master storyteller and illustrator, Colin Thompson.

A family of wizards and witches living in an ordinary neighborhood in an ordinary town decides that they have had enough of the noisy family living next-door and makes them disappear.

Fully illustrated and full colour throughout, Floodsopedia will improve your life in exciting and dramatic ways you never imagined, unless you imagined bacon, mildew, boils and germs.

In response to the stark reality of children around the world dying from starvation, and from natural disasters over which we have no control, thirteen internationally famous artists created a book, the royalties earned being donated to the Save the Children Organisation in Australia.

Most people don''t like being different. They want exactly the same things as their neighbours, only bigger and more of them. Yet no matter how much they have, they always feel there is something missing. The Smiths are not like other people. They might not be any good at cooking, or housework, or homework, but in their jumbled house full of strange things that will probably come in useful one day, they are happy and content. Well, almost. The Smiths, too, feel that there is something missing from their lives. And today the children went down to the shops and found it.

Barry came to save the world, but he’s been stuck down the back of the couch Barry may be no larger than a can of beans, but his powers are awesome. The trouble is he has been trapped down the back of the sofa for over fifty years unable to do the job he was built for. His creators have gone back to their own planet and without his control the Earth is gradually falling apart. Floods, droughts, wars and reality TV are only a few of the things that are threatening the whole of civilisation. With only a bright red lipstick to help him, can Barry emerge from the darkness and save the world before it is too late?

From the creator of FEARLESS comes a new canine tale. ''It was very quiet in Stanley''s house. there were no brothers or sisters, no dads or grannies, not even a cat, a budgie or a goldfish.'' Stanley lives with his human, Gerald, and Gerald''s mum. Life is peaceful, but sometimes Stanley feels quite lonely ... But then one day another dog steals his favourite red rubber ball at his park, and sets in motion a chain of events that will change Stanley''s life forever. Ages: 3-7

Looks can be deceiving. . . . Betty Flood looks normal, she attends a normal school, and she does normal homework. She comes from a family of wizards and witches, though, and that means she is anything but normal. Betty''s new best friend, Ffiona Hulbert, however, is a completely ordinary girl from a regular family. She even has normal problems—like school-yard bullies. When Betty decides to use the Floods'' magic to help Ffiona and her family, you can bet that even they won''t be normal for long!

In a castle, in the heart of an almost-forgotten country, lived a king, who, like all the kings before him, had one dream - to discover the secret of gold. As the dawn of the new Millenium approached, the king''s 19th alchemist, Spinifex, goes to more and more extravagant lengths to build the machine that will realise the king''s dream.

Betty and Ffiona cooking dinner? Run for your lives! Betty and her friend FFiona love cooking. The trouble is, they are both so useless at it that their families make themselves ill just to avoid their meals.It isn''t that their families are too kind to tell the girls how bad their cooking is - they actually tell them all the time. But Betty and Ffiona don''t believe them, and now the girls are planning to open Transylvania Waters''s first gourmet restaurant. Queen Mordonna forbids them . . . unless they can prove their cooking skills by winning TV''s most popular cooking contest. Will they poison all the judges, or will The Cheffie Olympics be Betty and Ffiona''s finest hour?

Orkward, Quicklime College''s biggest bully, devises a horrid plot to get the better of the Floods, a family of witches and wizards, during the annual sports day competition.

What do you get when you cross the legendary heroes of Camelot with the legendary humour of Colin Thompson? The Dragons! In the days when dragons roamed the earth turning people into toast, a mighty King ruled the world. This King lived in the great castle of Camelot in the beautiful island of Avalon. Guided by the great wizard Merlin, this King became a legend and his name was Arthur. The trouble with legends is that every time their stories are told they become more and more fabulous, so useless twits are often turned into superheroes.This is the true story of King Arthur, who was not a superhero. He was a nasty little spoilt brat who was totally up himself. Or was he . . .?

The second book in Colin Thompson’s brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town. Look through the cobwebbed, murky arched window in deepest Patagonia, and this is what you might see... Every day five of the Flood children travel halfway round the world to Quicklime College, the ultimate school for witches and wizards. There''s no time for silly games flying around on broomsticks. Sports day is coming up, and before you even wonder how four-legged Satanella copes with the three-legged race, here''s a secret for you. Orkward Warlock, the vilest child in the school, and his sidekick, The Toad, hate the big happy Floods family. And they''re plotting to kill the Floods - on sports day.

What happens when the King goes Doolally? Find out in the latest Floods adventure. Everyone gets old, even witches and wizards. Their backs get stiff. Their feet get sore, and their brains go and live far, far away. Not even Nerlin Flood, the King of Transylvania Waters, is immune to the curse of old age. The rest of the family have noticed that Nerlin is slipping into total Doolallyness – he even has an invisible friend called Geoffrey-Geoffrey, who warns him not to eat broccoli because it will give him global warming. Will the Old Crones be able to cure him, or is Nerlin doomed to spend his twilight years talking to the wall, wearing a crooked jacket* and incompetence pants? * Which is actually a more accurate description of a straitjacket.

King Arthur has been overthrown. Long live King Arthur! The Dark Ages are over and the wonderful Days of Yore have begun. Everyone is looking forward to a magnificent coronation of the new King Arthur, followed by huge amounts of legendary peace and happiness that will entirely cover the whole of Avalon and there will be purple tights for all. But there is a rebellion in the land. Brat, the old false king, and Bloat, a teenage dragon, have vowed to overthrow the lovely wonderful King Arthur and bring back the Dark Ages. But Morgan le Fey and Sir Lancelot and a thirsty vampire will save the day. Or will they?

Arthur has been crowned King, and peace and happiness have broken out all over Avalon. Life has never been more peaceful and everyone is living happily ever after. So why are so many people planning rebellion? On one hand, the Dragons are planning an uprising. On the other hand, King Arthur''s revolting little cousin Mordred is planning an uprising. And on the other, other hand, Brassica, the deposed fake King Arthur, is planning an uprising. It''s lucky that Merlin, who has more than two hands, has everything under control. Or does he . . . ?

Ignored by prospective human owners who walk past her cage at the pound, a shy dog with an unusual name becomes a hero during a lightning storm.

In the final book of the Floods series, the job of running the Kingdom of Transylvania Waters is up for grabs. Who will replace King Nerlin? Nerlin''s decided to retire u but which of his children will rule Transylvania Waters next? Everyone gets a turn to try their hand at being the king or queen. Will it be Betty, Winchflat, the twins, or Satanella the dog? The final result might surprise you!

Save the world – but live forever. Peter and Festival have a terrifying choice to make . . . When Peter and his friend Festival destroyed the book called How To Live Forever so it could no longer work its spell, they didn’t know it would have disastrous consequences. Now, Peter’s world is in the worst drought ever – and Festival’s world, inside the museum, is drowning. The only solution is to re-create the book. Can they reverse the water flow? And if they re-create the evil book, can they hide it so it can never be read again?

The Floods take on Wall Street and solve the global financial crisis in the ninth book of their hilarious, bestselling adventures. The world is in a recession and millions of people have lost millions of dollars. And just when things are about to get even worse, the Floods set up Summer School in New York and take control. Hooray, help is at hand - but as they say, charity begins at home. So millions of people will probably lose millions more dollars, but it will all work out fine in the end. Well, for the Floods anyway. Hey, come on. They’re witches and wizards, not some sort of charity.

The caves under Transylvania Waters are about to be explored for the first time ever. What will the Floods find? The Floods are back in their rightful place as rulers of Transylvania Waters and there is an enormous amount to do to bring the country out of the Dark Ages. But what does a country need to become part of the modern world? Well, it needs socks, PlayStations and seventy-three varieties of genetically modified sausage, but above all else it needs maps. Winchflat''s new wife, Maldegard, has been appointed Transylvania Waters''s first ever Official Map-Maker. What she and Edna Hulbert discover during their travels will astound, terrify, amuse and intrigue you.

Everyone''s favourite bulldog discovers what it really means to be in love... The delightful follow-up to the multi-award-winning picture book FEARLESS. Ages: 4+ the only thing Fearless could remember his mother telling him was, ''Life is much nicer if you love everyone.'' But loving everyone is much more complicated than Fearless had imagined. Until he meets Primrose ... A hilarious new picture book about Fearless the bulldog from award-winning duo Colin thompson and Sarah Davis. Ages: 4+

Dorothy the dog is old. But that doesn''t bother her too much - all she worries about is when dinnertime is. Besides, she''s always been wrinkly, which means she has always been old forever or young forever depending on how you look at it.A beautiful story about growing up from bestselling author/illustrator, Colin Thompson.