New Releases by Chris Grabenstein

Fee, fi, fo, FUN! It’s story time again at Hickleberry Elementary with Stinky the stuffed skunk—and this time the class is reading the classic Jack and the Beanstalk! Everyone knows the story ends with the giant falling from the sky, but only Stinky knows what happened next! Jack went on to sell all those golden eggs and become a billionaire, while Hubert the giant wound up stranded on the ground, far from home. With no one to help him and nowhere to turn, Hubert has no choice but to put his giant skills to work where they''re valued the most—on the basketball court! He joins the Droolville Dribblers, but will Hubert sink the buzzer beater and find his way home? This second stinky story is the first-ever chapter book series from beloved New York Times bestselling authors Chris and J. J. Grabenstein, filled with page after page of hilarious illustrations by acclaimed artist Alex Patrick. Stinky''s Stories is the perfect series for young, reluctant, and emergent readers—or any kid who just loves to laugh.

Now a Nickelodeon Original Movie! Over 100 Weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List 44 State Award Lists! Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in this fun-filled, action-packed bestseller from the much-loved co-author of I Funny and Treasure Hunters! “A worthy successor to. . . Willy Wonka.” —Booklist, Starred Review When Kyle learns that the world''s most famous game maker, Luigi Lemoncello, has designed the town''s new library and is having an invitation-only lock-in on opening night, he''s determined to be there! But the tricky part isn''t getting into the library—it''s getting out. Because when morning comes, the doors stay locked. Kyle and the other kids must solve every clue and figure out every secret puzzle to find the hidden escape route! Don''t miss bonus content in the back of the book—extra puzzles, an author Q&A, and more! And look for the puzzle-packed sequels—Mr. Lemoncello''s Library Olympics and Mr. Lemoncello’s Great Library Race! “Full of puzzles to think about, puns to groan at . . . this solid, tightly plotted read is a winner for readers and game-players alike.” —Kirkus Reviews, Starred Review

Meet middle schooler Jake McQuade. Jake became the smartest kid in the universe when he accidentally ate a jarful of ingestible knowledge jelly beans. But what happens when those jelly beans fall into the wrong hands?! Readers who enjoy the action of the Last Kids on Earth books will love this fast-paced, spy-packed series that''s a "rollicking good time" (New York Times) by the bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library! Jake McQuade''s the smartest kid in the universe—or at least he was. But just as his training with the secret agency known as the Consortium is about to start, Jake''s jelly beans go missing! And to make matters worse, they (and Jake''s genius!) might be wearing off right when he needs his smarts most! Jake needs to solve this mystery fast. Who stole the jelly beans and why? Can Jake figure out what''s going on, recover the missing jelly beans, and stop a high-tech heist before it''s too late?! From top-secret hideouts to New York City penthouse apartments to the Statue of Liberty in the middle of the night, get ready to go on a whirlwind, wild-ride adventure filled with supervillains and spies, puzzles and pirates, codes and drones, and much, much more—and don''t miss the first two books in the series—Smartest Kid in the Universe and Genius Camp!

In the finale of James Patterson''s bestselling series, the Kidds compete for fame and glory—but can they solve a mystery, restore their family name and uncover the biggest treasure yet? Bick, Beck, Storm, and Tommy Kidd have uncovered and rescued some of the world’s greatest treasure, without ever seeking out fame and glory. So they aren’t happy when the Collier Kids (as in Nathan Collier, the Kidds’s nemesis) start treasure hunting for the camera, more focused on looking good and selling ads for their streaming show than actually recovering treasure. When the Kidds are invited to compete with the Colliers for the title of “The World’s Greatest Treasure Hunting Kids,” they jump at the chance to show the world what real treasure hunting looks like. But with rumors swirling of a family mistake made by the Kidds’ great-grandfather years ago, the Kidds discover that fame and glory aren’t the only things on the line. Will they be able to solve the mystery, restore their family name, and recover their biggest treasure haul yet?

Do you know anyone like Oliver McSnow...who only knows the word NO?! Introducing a story about the AMAZING power of YES! This universally relatable picture book about toddlerhood from the New York Times bestselling team behind No More Naps! will elicit laughs from kids and their grown-ups everywhere! Oliver McSnow ONLY says NO. He says NO so much that his NO starts to grow. And grow and GROW...until that NO is out of control! No baths. No brushing teeth. No cleaning up. No bedtime! Morning, noon, and night—it’s just NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO! But then Oliver''s cousin visits. Jess loves the word YES. YES to friends! YES to food. YES to fun! YES, YES, YES, YES, YESSSSS! And suddenly, Oliver''s world gets opened up in a most wonderful way!

Jacky Ha-Ha is off to theater camp and funnier than ever in this hilarious illustrated novel from James Patterson and Chris Grabenstein''s #1 New York Times bestselling series. Jacky Hart finally knows the thrill of having people laugh with her (not at her). She tries to put her comedy and theater skills to use in her summer job, but the boardwalk crowds aren’t exactly adoring. So Jacky jumps at the opportunity of a lifetime: an all-expense paid trip to theater camp! When Jacky gets to Camp Footlights, she realizes she’s way out of her depth. The highly trained campers all seem to know everything about performing, and exactly how to command the spotlight. All Jacky wants is to prove she fits in, but the more she tries, the more she stands out—and not in a good way. With help from her new friends, can Jacky Ha-Ha earn her place in the spotlight…or will she flop? Packed with illustrations, jokes, and hijinks, the latest book in the #1 bestselling Jacky Ha-Ha series delivers a hilarious and heartwarming dose of summer fun, perfect for reading all year round!

Do you love DOGS? Do you love CATS? Do you love ADVENTURE? Then put your paws together for DOG SQUAD, the hilarious, crime-fighting middle-grade series from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library! When trouble calls . . . it’s Dog Squad to the rescue! But when calamity calls . . . call in Cat Crew! Fred, the loveable stray who became the star of the hit streaming sensation, DOG SQUAD, is back and working on a new show—Cat Crew! But wait a second—there’s something funny about these felines! And something suspicious about their animal trainer. Is this cat crew being electronically controlled?!?! And what exactly is the evil trainer plotting? Can Fred save the day . . .and the cats?! It''s time for an all paws on deck top-secret rescue mission! Get ready for book 2 in this action-packed, middle grade series that has kids (and canines) howling with laugher! Nothing''s too ruff for the Dog Squad!

"Pure jelly-bean-enhanced entertainment and a perfect escape."—The New York Times The Smartest Kid in the Universe goes to genius camp in book two of this action-packed series from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library! Jake McQuade is the Smartest Kid in the Universe and he''s back to defend his title! This time, he is heading off to a camp for geniuses sponsored by billionaire tech mogul and inventor, Zane Zinkle. Genius camp is not like regular camp. There are limo buses, robot polar bears, and high-tech cabins with high-tech toilets! But it isn’t all fun and games at camp, especially when Jake goes up against the artificially intelligent Virtuoso quantum computer—the smartest machine in the universe—which also happens to be Zinkle’s latest genius creation! It''s boy versus bot in this epic showdown packed with puzzles, action, adventure, and hilarious, jelly bean-fueled fun! Bonus puzzle included! "Chris Grabenstein just might be the smartest writer for kids in the universe." —James Patterson "Clever, fast-paced and incredibly funny." --Stuart Gibbs, New York Times Bestselling author of Spy School

Dodge missiles, map undersea caves, outrun secret agents, and uncover the ultimate treasure? That’s a day in the life of the Kidds! The Kidd family is on an exciting new mission: use the augmented reality gear their parents created to uncover long-lost treasure. But then their ship, The Lost, explodes in a ball of fire! Now Bick, Beck, Tommy, and Storm are stranded on a raft in the Mediterranean Sea, and their parents have been kidnapped by maniacal treasure hunters. It’s up to the Kidd siblings to follow clues around the globe to uncover an ancient treasure and save their parents . . . before they lose everything!

Before Mr. Lemoncello became everyone’s favorite game maker, he was a kid who liked to roll the dice . . . Discover the origins of what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in this PREQUEL to the New York Times bestselling Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library. Go back to the START and meet thirteen-year-old, PUZZLE-obsessed Luigi Lemoncello! Luigi has a knack for games and puzzles. But sometimes it feels like the cards are stacked against him. UNTIL a carnival arrives in town and Luigi gets the CHANCE OF A LIFETIME—the opportunity to work for the world-famous Professor Marvelmous--a dazzling, banana-hat-wearing barker who puts the SHOW in SHOWMAN! When the carnival closes, Professor Marvelmous leaves behind a mysterious puzzle box along with a clue. A clue that will lead Luigi and his friends on a fantastical treasure hunt to a prize beyond anything they could imagine--if they can find it! Can Luigi crack the codes and unlock the box''s secrets? Will there be puzzles? Of course! Balloons? You bet! Will it be fun? Hello! It’s a Lemon-cello! BONUS! Can YOU crack the hidden puzzle inside?!

Introducing DOG SQUAD, the crime-fighting, tail-wagging, hilarious new series from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library and coauthor of Max Einstein! When trouble calls . . . it''s DOG SQUAD to the rescue! Duke is not your average dog. Along with his crew, he fights crime and goes on claw-biting adventures helping dogs in peril in the hit streaming sensation--DOG SQUAD! Fred is a pretty average dog. He''s scrappy. He''s loveable. But he''s not brave like his heroes on Dog Squad. Fred looks an awful lot like Duke from Dog Squad though. In fact, when Duke needs a stand-in, Fred''s the perfect choice. But the Dog Squad action doesn''t always stop on screen! When there''s danger in real life, can Fred find the courage to step up and save the day?! It''s all paws on deck in this action-packed, middle grade adventure series just right for anyone who loves dogs--and anyone who loves to laugh! “Doggone fun.”—Kirkus Reviews

Fred, a stray dog who became the star of the show Dog Squad, is working on a new show called Cat Crew--but when he notices the felines acting strange, he wonders if the cat crew is being electronically controlled.

"Chris Grabenstein just might be the smartest writer for kids in the universe." --James Patterson What if you could learn everything just by eating jellybeans?! Meet the Smartest Kid in the Universe and find out in this fun-packed new series from the Bestselling Author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library and coauthor of Max Einstein! 12 year old Jake''s middle school is about to be shut down--unless Jake and his friends can figure out how to save it. When Jake spies a bowl of jellybeans at the hotel where his mom works, he eats them. But those weren''t just jellybeans, one of the scientists at his mom''s conference is developing the world''s first ingestible information pills. And THAT''S what Jake ate. Before long, Jake is the smartest kid in the universe. But the pills haven''t been tested yet. And when word gets out about this new genius, people want him. The government. The mega corporations. Not all of them are good people! Can Jake navigate the ins and outs of his newfound geniusdom (not to mention the ins and outs of middle school) and use his smarts to save his school? BONUS! Includes extra brainteasers to test your smarts! Don''t miss the next Smartest Kid in the Universe—Genius Camp!

“I didn’t do it!” is something cops hear all the time. But when the plea comes from a close friend who’s fallen on hard times, it’s tougher to ignore, especially for young Officer Danny Boyle.It’s the start of another action-packed summer for the wise cracking Boyle and straight-arrow cop (now Chief of Detectives) John Ceepak down the Jersey Shore as they do their best to help Danny’s friend, a young nurse who claims she has been falsely accused of aggravated assault. Ceepak’s unshakable code of honor is tested when he trusts that the nurse is telling the truth. It’s stretched to the limit when one of the nurse’s home health care patients turns up dead. Now Ceepak and Danny must answer the hard and horrible question: “Did we just help a friend get away with murder?”Get ready for another fun and fast-paced page-turner from Anthony and Agatha award-winner Chris Grabenstein.

Reality TV can be murder in the Jersey Shore mysteries from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of the Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series. What if a reality TV show like Jersey Shore set up production in the fictional seaside resort Sea Haven? What if hitting the gym, tanning, and doing a little laundry aren’t the only things the contestants get into. By-the-book officer John Ceepak and his wisecracking young partner, Danny Boyle, have to babysit the buff and boozy kids partying it up in a Jersey shore rental house for TV’s summertime hit Fun House while simultaneously trying to stop the rowdy kids from breaking the law up and down the beach. But even Ceepak and Danny can’t stop one young cast member from being murdered - and others from being threatened with the same fate.

Max finally meets her hero, Albert Einstein, as she dashes across glaciers, visits the Great Barrier Reef, and flies a solar-powered jet in a race to stop Global Warming—before it’s too late for Planet Earth. World Champions . . . GET OUTDOORS From racing across glaciers in Greenland and flying in a super fancy solar-powered jet to Hawaii, to visiting the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia and hanging out with a robot named Leo, twelve-year-old genius Max and her friends live for adventure. TAKE ACTION Whenever there''s a problem to solve, the kids work better together. So does an evil group of the rich and powerful, who will do whatever it takes to split the kids up—even as the planet is changing before their eyes. NEVER GIVE UP Max has one more surprise in her playbook, and if she''s going to pull it off, she needs her team around her. Whoever said that kids can''t save the world?

Can you find your way out of what James Patterson calls the "coolest library in the world"? For the first time, you are invited INSIDE Mr. Lemoncello''s one-of-a-kind Gameworks Factory! From the coauthor of I Funny and Max Einstein--and with 100+ weeks on the New York Times bestseller list--the LEMONCELLO books are laugh-out-loud, puzzle-packed MUST-READS for homes and classrooms across America. Far away from his magical library, everyone''s favorite game maker, Luigi Lemoncello, is building something new. Something SECRET. And he''s about to let the world see it. Four lucky kids will win the chance to go inside the new Lemoncello-tastic building on a scavenger hunt that will take them through live-action challenges--skyscraper-size Jenga, dizzying real-life Chutes and Ladders, death-defying games of Rush Hour, and more! Each game will get the players closer to the titanium ticket. And only then will the real secret be revealed. . . . Don''t miss the bonus puzzle in the back! Look for the rest of the puzzle-packed series--Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library, Mr. Lemoncello''s Library Olympics, Mr. Lemoncello''s Great Library Race, and Mr. Lemoncello''s All-Star Breakout Game! PRAISE FOR THE SERIES: 44 STATE AWARD LISTS AND COUNTING 100+ WEEKS ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST * "A worthy successor to the original madman puzzle-master himself, Willy Wonka." --Booklist, starred review

When a lifelong friendship just isn''t long enough, two friends connect from beyond the grave in this heartwarming ghost story from a New York Times bestselling author. One minute, Finn was biking home from school, and the next, he was run off the road by a maniac in a big van. Now, he''s a ghost. He can do lots of fun things, like try every ice cream flavor in the store, sneak up on people, and play as many video games as he wants. Finn even has a new ghost friend, Isabella, to show him the ropes. But he also has a lot of BIG questions, like: who wanted him dead? And can he stop the maniac from striking again? Packed with hilarious moments, epic friendships, and fun art, Best Nerds Forever celebrates the nerd in each of us and the joy of living life to its fullest.

Twelve-year-old Jake McQuade--the smartest kid in the universe--goes to a camp for geniuses, where he goes up against the Virtuoso quantum computer, the smartest machine in the universe.

The world''s #1 bestselling author has teamed up with the world''s most famous genius to entertain, educate and inspire a generation of kids--with the first and only kids'' book series officially approved by the Albert Einstein Archives. Albert Einstein + James Patterson = A Must Read! Max is back with a thrilling new adventure that involves time travel, creepy bad guys, killer drones, and a shocking mystery about her past that she will stop at nothing to solve! Under constant danger of being kidnapped by the shadowy Corporation, Max is on the run from New York to London and beyond. But soon the call comes for the Change Maker kids'' next mission: make sure no kid ever goes hungry again! If anyone can tackle a problem this big, Max and her genius friends can. But mysterious clues about her past keep distracting Max''s focus. She always wanted to know who her parents were and why they abandoned her as a baby. If she manages to build a time machine, she could find them and get all the answers! What''s more important - her past, or the future of the Change Makers?

Bestselling author Chris Grabenstein and the Mystery Writers of America bring together twenty peerless puzzles—from bestselling authors such as Peter Lerangis, Stuart Gibbs, Lauren Magaziner, Kate Milford, and, of course, Grabenstein himself—in an anthology of mystery short stories that invite readers to try to unravel the riddles themselves. From tales of hapless superheroes and stolen squirrel monkeys to murderous triplets and haunted basements, these thrilling, puzzling, and hilarious cases have one thing in common—YOU get a chance to be the detective before the author reveals the solution. With twenty never-before-published mystery stories, this collection will leave young detectives sleuthing for more!

With their parents in trouble once again, the Kidds must traverse the Australian Outback, recover a pair of stolen gems, and defeat treasure-hunting pirates to save them! The Kidd family is on their way to Australia to find Lasseter''s Gold when they are challenged by fellow treasure hunter Charlotte Badger, who challenges them to a race to the gold! But when the Kidds pull into port in Australia, their parents are suddenly arrested—they''ve been framed! It turns out Charlotte Badger is a pirate, and she''s planted a priceless stolen black opal on the Kidds'' ship, The Lost! Now Bick, Beck, Storm, and Tommy have seven days to traverse the Australian Outback, find Charlotte Badger and her pirate cronies, and bring back the evidence that will prove their parents innocent. If they fail, their parents will be found guilty and thrown in prison . . . forever!

Can you find your way out of what James Patterson calls the "coolest library in the world"? Kyle Keeley and his friends face their biggest challenge yet when Mr. Lemoncello goes LIVE with his first-ever televised BREAKOUT game! From the coauthor of I Funny and Max Einstein--and with 100+ weeks on the New York Times bestseller list--the LEMONCELLO books are laugh-out-loud, puzzle-packed MUST-READS for homes and classrooms across America. Mr. Lemoncello is leaving the library and going LIVE across the nation with his latest game. Kyle can''t wait to audition, but only a lucky few will get to compete in front of millions of viewers in a completely immersive new breakout game--with real kids as the playing pieces! Nothing is ever as it seems with Mr. Lemoncello, and the clock is ticking! Can Kyle and his friends crack the codes in time to win it all? Don''t miss the bonus puzzle in the back! Look for the rest of the puzzle-packed series--Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library, Mr. Lemoncello''s Library Olympics, Mr. Lemoncello''s Great Library Race, and Mr. Lemoncello and the Titanium Ticket! PRAISE FOR THE SERIES: 44 STATE AWARD LISTS AND COUNTING 100+ WEEKS ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST * "A worthy successor to the original madman puzzle-master himself, Willy Wonka." --Booklist, starred review

"Outrageous hijinks and nonstop hilarity--five stars!" --Lincoln Peirce, author of the Big Nate series Take a vacation in a book with this hilarious illustrated middle-grade series by Chris Grabenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library and coauthor with James Patterson of the I Funny and House of Robots series! Welcome to the Wonderland Motel--the funnest place on earth! Contestants, start your engines! The race to be the best on the beach is on, and this year the Wonderland is FINALLY going to win! The competition is fierce! But who needs ROLLER COASTERS and JET PACKS and PIRATES when you have not one but two SECRET WEAPONS? That''s right--P.T. and Gloria, of course! Now they just need to SLEUTH OUT who the secret contest judges are and come up with enough brand-new attractions to WOW them and OUT-FUN the competition! Can they do it? Or will the Wonderland crash and burn? Anything''s possible when you live in the FUNNEST PLACE ON EARTH! Extras include P.T. and Gloria''s famous fact-or-fiction quiz and P.T.''s (Not Exactly) Patented Storytelling Tips! "So funny I fell off my bed!" --Izzy B., age 10

Imagine if you could steal your toddler''s nap? This picture book debut from a #1 New York Times bestselling author turns the universal dilemma of getting kids to sleep upside down! It''s time for a nap but, just like stubborn toddlers everywhere, Annalise Devin McFleece won''t have anything to do with bedtime. Dad tries to encourage sleepiness by pushing her around the park in her stroller. Along the way, they pass a man sitting on a bench, dog walkers walking dogs, a boy on a skateboard, kids playing ball, a girl practicing her juggling, and others. Each of them thinks that taking a nap is a great idea and if Annalise Devin McFleece doesn''t want hers, they''ll happy take it. And one by one, everyone falls asleep...except Annalise Devin McFleece. But when she''s finally ready for her nap, all the naps are taken! Is there anyone who has an extra nap to spare? With every turn of the page, the busy city scene becomes more and more quiet...except for Annalise Devin McFleece. Will she ever take a nap?

"Inspirational, commonsensical, and a whole lot of fun." --James Patterson Everyone deserves to shine in this sparkling new book from the New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library, Chris Grabenstein, and coauthor J.J. Grabenstein--just right for fans of Word of Mouse and The Fourteenth Goldfish. "Who do you want to be?" asks Mr. Van Deusen. "And not when you grow up. Right here, right now." Shine on! might be the catchphrase of twelve-year-old Piper''s hero--astronaut, astronomer, and television host Nellie Dumont Frisse--but Piper knows the truth: some people are born to shine, and she''s just not one of them. That fact has never been clearer than now, since her dad''s new job has landed them both at Chumley Prep, a posh private school where everyone seems to be the best at something and where Piper definitely doesn''t fit in. Bursting with humor, heart, science, possibilities, and big questions, Shine! is a story about finding your place in the universe--a story about figuring out who you are and who you want to be.

"A fast-paced, science-filled caper." --The Wall Street Journal Max Einstein is the first and only children''s adventure series officially approved by the Albert Einstein Archives. Max Einstein''s typical day is not your average 12-year-old''s. She... - TEACHES classes at a New York college - Dodges KIDNAPPING attempts with her best friends - Goes on SECRET MISSIONS for her billionaire boss - Has a MYSTERIOUS CONNECTION to Albert Einstein Just a day in the life of the Change Makers Institute''s top agent! What does an Irish town and a village in India have in common? A water crisis that only a group of kid geniuses can fix! Max and her CMI friends attempt to use their smarts to find solutions, but it''s hard to save the world when you''re trying not to be kidnapped! A greedy corporation with an eye on capturing Max seems to know their every move. It''s almost like the bad guys have a spy inside the Change Makers...

The U.S.A. is in danger... Only the Kidds can find the treasure that will save it! Bick, Beck, Storm and Tommy are stuck in Washington, D.C. without any priceless antiques to hunt--BORING! But everything changes when the Kidds uncover a dastardly conspiracy: a fake Bill of Rights! Now they''re crisscrossing the country in a race to prove the document is a forgery. But the key to exposing the conspiracy may have been under their noses the whole time. And if they don''t find it soon, the U.S.A. as we know it could be gone forever...

"Outrageous hijinks and nonstop hilarity--five stars!" --Lincoln Peirce, author of the Big Nate series Dive into summer fun with this hilarious illustrated middle-grade series by Chris Grabenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello''s Library and coauthor with James Patterson of the I Funny and House of Robots series! Life''s a vacation when you live in the world''s wackiest motel! P.T. and his best friend, Gloria, are getting ready for St. Pete Beach''s first-ever Sandapalooza! The Wonderland''s biggest rival, the Conch Reef Resort, is doing everything it can to win the sand sculpture contest, but P.T. has bigger problems: The Wonderland has opened a new restaurant--the Banana Shack--and running a restaurant is harder than it looks! And to make matters worse, a royal guest''s priceless tiara has gone missing, and the prime suspect is the Wonderland''s beloved housekeeper! Can P.T. and Gloria win the contest, keep the restaurant going, and clear Clara''s name?

For anyone who loves cats, dogs (or both!), James Patterson''s most pawsome story ever is set in a society defined by the oldest rivalry in the world: katts versus doggs! Oscar is a happy dogg---a rambunctious kid who loves being a Dogg Scout. Thanks to his family, he knows that snobby katts are good for nothing but chasing up trees. Molly is a clever katt who just knows she''s destined for fame and fortune as an actress. She comes from a family of well-bred katts who despise drooly, disgusting doggs! For their whole lives, Oscar and Molly have been told that katts and dogs hate each other. One day, they each get hopelessly lost in the woods, but those lifelong prejudices flare up when they cross paths. Slowly, they realize that the only way to survive and find their way home is to...work together?! Yeah, that''s not going to happen!