Best Selling Books by Alan Katz

Now''s your chance to meet the funniest kid in the world! Ricky Vargas is funny. He is so funny he can make you snort milk out of your nose...even if you''re not drinking any!In three stories, Ricky manages to get carried away at the school spelling bee, ruin the class picture, and speak his own language. But don''t worry, no matter what trouble Ricky finds himself in, he always knows just how to make it better--after all, who could be upset with the funniest kid in the world for long?

Thomas Edison, world-class inventor. You might know that he devised the electric light bulb and the phonograph. But what about his development of train-controlling sticks? Or his airborne way to send pancakes to his Cousin Fran in Texas? You’re about to be treated to the Lieographical aspects of Thomas Edison’s life, in this funny, lighthearted, “all that didn’t happen” take on the man whose inventions transformed our daily existence. The book ends with a short—but true—account of Edison’s life—just enough to encourage kids to find out more on this important historical figure. But even if readers have already learned about Edison, the wacky stories in this tall-tales book will be even more enjoyable.

Profiles twelve notable scientists, including Dr. Henry Heimlich, Edwin Land, and Dr. Sally Ride.

In a hilarious parody of the most popular songs from The King himself, Elfis inspires his fellow elves through his gift of music--and in the process saves Christmas, too. Full color.

Jokes about the "fabulous fifty states."--[back cover].

Are you being pawed, clawed, and gnawed by that four-footed fuzzball who ruins your furniture and runs your life? Here''s away to get back in the catbird seat: this hilarious how-to-fight-back from an expert who has devised dozens of surefire (but never cruel or harmful) pet-tested ways to show your cat who''s really boss.

This text focuses on the promotion and accelerated application of nonlinear dynamics, chaotic and other advanced signal processing techniques in engineering and the sciences. Topics covered include nonlinear time series analysis and the processing and synthesis of chaotic signals.

“A Royal Stinkfest!” —Fairy Queen of Snots “What a gas!” —Fairy O. Hara, author of Gone Is the Wind “This book makes great reading—and even better toilet paper!” —I.C. Butts, President of S.T.I.N.K. (Society to Inform Nice Kids) Say the word “fairies” and it conjures up images of little winged beings made of gossamer and light, exquisitely dressed in shimmering gowns or twirly, little bejeweled skating costumes. Well, you haven''t met The Flim-Flam Fairies. Be prepared for the crazy antics of the Fart Fairy, Snot Fairy, Dirty Underwear Fairy, as well as a few other less-than-enchanting fairies as they persuade their way into and out of children''s lives in attempts to take over the Tooth Fairy''s under-the-pillow enterprise. A silly story that will have the kids howling into their pillows with laughter!

A llama astronaut! A grilled-cheese cheetah! A quarterback yak! It''s Halloween at the zoo, and it''s time for the animals to show off their costumes! But who will win the prize for best dressed? This night is full of fun and surprises! Children and parents alike will love this festive story by beloved New York Times bestselling author Alan Katz, brought to life with delightfully vibrant illustrations by acclaimed artist Stephanie Laberis.

Fourteen song parodies about parents and children, including "They''re Always on the Cell" (to the tune of "Farmer in the Dell"), "Watch Dad Exercise" (to the tune of "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"), "Dressed Up is Messed Up" (to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"), and "Too Much Kissing" (to the tune of "Rock-a-bye Baby").

Bet you can''t read the whole thing without laughing! These animal jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing! Why was the baby snake upset? Because someone took his rattle. What did the fast food worker say when the frog ordered a hamburger? "Do you want flies with that?" Get ready to BARK out loud with these hilarious animal jokes from author and expert funny man Alan Katz! Including knock-knock jokes and puns for all situations, The Funniest Animal Joke Book Ever has it all! It even includes activities and fill-in sections to write your own jokes!

Come along on a hilarious adventure with the one and only Karate Pig as he karate chops everything in sight—even this book! In the end, Karate Pig learns a very important lesson about sharing and reading with his very good friends. Readers will laugh out loud as they read this novelty book with pull-tabs, die-cut pages and a gatefold flap.

It''s Christmastime! While everyone else is singing "Frosty the Snowman" and "Winter Wonderland," ring in your holidays with "Our Friendly Mailman" and "Something in My Brother''s Underpants"! Songwriter and comedy writer par excellence Alan Katz roasts old Christmas chestnuts and turns them into sparkling new holiday hits that everyone will love. With uproarious pictures by illustrator and cartoonist David Catrow, this holiday collection guarantees hours of silly dilly cheer for kids and families everywhere!

Calling all silly dilly fans! Get ready to take a giant time-out for laughs, ''cause the bestselling creators of Take Me Out of the Bathtub and Other Silly Dilly Songs and Are You Quite Polite? Silly Dilly Manners Songs are back again to silly-dilly-fy your world. The crowd will go wild and join in the chorus, singing sport new lyrics to childhood classics. From football to baseball, soccer to archery, there''s a song for every court, field, and sporting occasion. No need to wear a helmet, and you don''t even have to shout "Fore!" before singing the golf song!

Dr. I. B. Wrongo is the smartest guy in the land of Wrongovia. By spending 4,312 straight days in his secret testing facility, he''s proven it''s more fun to be wrong . . . and he''s created THAT''S RIGHT, THAT''S WRONG! to give kids everywhere the chance to play along, laugh along, and even learn along! WHICH ANIMAL CAN CHANGE ITS COLOR?__ Chameleon __ Eel If you said chameleon, that would be right. But in this game, we''re looking for the WRONG answer. No points for you! NOTE TO PARENTS: This game encourages kids to give the WRONG ANSWERS to a wide variety of questions. When they do, they''ll score points and laugh themselves silly . . . and then they''ll learn the RIGHT ANSWERS and some additional facts to remember. So don''t worry, they won''t end up stupid or weird -- this game is sure to make them happier and smarter! And if you don''t believe me, you''re wrong too! Either way, congratulations!-- Dr. I. B. Wrongo

Dr. I. B. Wrongo is the smartest guy in the land of Wrongovia. By spending 4,312 straight days in his secret testing facility, he''s proven it''s more fun to be wrong...and he''s created THAT''S RIGHT, THAT''S WRONG! to give kids everywhere the chance to play along, laugh along, and even learn along! WHOSE PORTRAIT IS ON THE NICKEL? If you said Thomas Jefferson, that would be right. But in this gamewe''re looking for the WRONG answer. No points for you! NOTE TO PARENTS: This game encourages kids to give the WRONG ANSWERS toa variety of questions. When they do, they''ll score points and laughthemselves silly...and then they''ll learn the RIGHT ANSWERS and someadditional facts to remember. So don''t worry, this game is sure to makethem happier and smarter! And if you don''t believe me, you''re wrong too!Either way, congratulations! -- Dr. I. B. Wrongo

A how-to manual to staying safe and sane on the road offers easy-to-follow, often amusing advice on everything from how to avoid an accident, to finding bizarre tourist sites, to the best radio stations in every state. Original.

"Andy Snowden and the other Elf Academy elves go on a winter wonderland field trip. When one of the younger reindeer is having trouble learning to fly, it''s up to Andy to use his imagination to help save the day!"--

Introduction: Childhood vaccination rates in Manitoba populations with low socioeconomic status (SES) fall significantly below the provincial average. This study examined the impact of a pay-for-performance (P4P) program called the Physician Integrated Network (PIN) on health inequity in childhood vaccination rates.Methods: The study used administrative data housed at the Manitoba Centre for Health Policy. We included all children born in Manitoba between 2003 and 2010 who were patients at PIN clinics receiving P4P funding matched with controls at non-participating clinics. We examined the rate of completion of the childhood primary vaccination series by age 2 across income quintiles (Q1-Q5). We estimated the distribution of income using the Gini coefficient, and calculated concentration indices for vaccination to determine whether the P4P program altered SES-related differences in vaccination completion. We compared these measures between study cohorts before and after implementation of the P4P program, and over the course of the P4P program in each cohort.Results: The PIN cohort included 6,185 children. Rates of vaccination completion at baseline were between 0.53 (Q1) and 0.69 (Q5). Inequality in income distribution was present at baseline and at study end in PIN and control cohorts. SES-related inequity in vaccination completion worsened in non-PIN clinics (difference in concentration index 0.037; 95% CI 0.013, 0.060), but remained constant in P4P-funded clinics (difference in concentration index 0.006; 95% CI 0.008, 0.021).Conclusions: The P4P program had a limited impact on vaccination rates and did not address health inequity.

"When Snowball, the puffball hamster in Ms. Kim''s classroom, accidentally sips the teacher''s leftover protein shake, she transforms into a monster like Beacher Elementary School has never known before. It''s all hands on deck to stop Snowball before it''s too late. And to do that, Milton Worthy is going to do have to team up with Noah, the part-time classroom ferret, full-time evil mastermind"--

Well-known songs, including "Oh Susannah" and "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," are presented with new words and titles, such as "Heavy Backpack!" and "I Don''t Want to Do Homework!"

Theoretical self-consistent calculations utilizing the Surface Embedded Green Function (SEGF) method have been performed on the Ag(111) surface. Analysis of the surface energetics reveal an energy minimum in the low temperature limit at an outerlayer contraction of 0.5% which agrees well with low energy electron diffraction and ion scattering studies. The predicted Ag(111) work function of 4.75 eV is in excellent agreement with the experimental value from photoelectron measurements. Furthermore, a surface state is predicted to exist at 0.15 eV below Ef, in very good agreement with a state observed experimentally in photoelectron spectroscopy at 0.12 eV below Ef. The best agreement with experiment across this diverse set of surface phenomena is obtained with the current implementation of the SEGF method.