Best Selling Books by Alan Katz

Laugh along with this big-hearted collection of ridiculous stories and playful puns -- perfect for fans of Rob Elliott and Jon Scieska. A collection of twenty outrageously funny short stories for younger middle grade readers, Really Stupid Stories for Really Smart Kids is full of puns, "bad" jokes, and tall tales that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. From "snowpeople" falling from the sky to a boy who only communicates through singing, there''s a story for every fan of Alan Katz''s signature humor.

A collection of humorous poems for children.

Seriously silly readers are bound to giggle with another hilarious collection from ALAN KATZ and EDWARD KOREN!

Travel to the North Pole in this first book in a brand-new series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! Andy Snowden is one of the many North Pole elves who make holiday gifts for children all around the world. But day after day, week after week, Andy starts to grow tired of the same old routine. He knows he’s destined for a different path than the other elves. But what else can a North Pole elf be good at? Maybe the Elf Academy Toy Making Contest can help Andy discover a special hidden talent!

Well-known music with new lyrics encourage toddlers to trade in their diapers for the potty chair, including "If You Gotta Go Do Poopy," sung to the tune of "If You''re Happy and You Know It."

In Art my pal Richie got inky. But Mom, that was only the start. ''Cause Richie then made the room stinky by blasting a really big... DON''T SAY THAT WORD! Michael can''t wait to tell his mom all about his day at school. But how can he, when she keeps stopping him before he gets to the best part? Laugh out loud with the bestselling team who brought us Take Me Out of the Bathtub and Other Silly Songs and the other hilarious books in the Silly Dilly series. But what ever you do... DON''T SAY THAT WORD!

Rocky Dachshund is back in an all-new first experience story from bestselling author Alan Katz and illustrator Pascal Lemaitre. This time, Rocky just won’t share! On the playground, he hogs the swings. He never passes the basketball during the game, and in art class he wants all the crayons and all the markers! Young readers are sure to giggle as this “me, mine” barker learns the importance of sharing in this humorous follow-up to Let’s Get a Checkup!

An energetic young boy has many things to do before he is ready to go to bed.

A father and son discuss the variety of outlandish items they might have if not for the other in this funny and heartfelt look at the appreciation we have for our families. There are tons of things a parent or child could have, if they didn’t have each other. A dad may be able to have a sleek sports car, and a son could have candy for every meal. But if to have those things, they wouldn’t have each other…well, they’d rather have their family instead. Kids and parents alike will find the humor in all the outlandish things they could have, but also the tenderness of knowing they have exactly what they need with each other.

The Elf Academy elves take on babysitting in this fourth and final book in a series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! Andy Snowden has to take care of his teacher’s niece and nephew who are moving to the North Pole. Has he finally met his mischievous match?

The Elf Academy elves throw a surprise party for Santa in this third book in a series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! The elves decide to throw a super-duper surprise party for Santa, complete with gifts, treats, and decorations! Andy Snowden has a million and one ideas to make the party the best one ever. What could possibly go wrong?

The Elf Academy elves go on a field trip in this second book in a series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! Andy Snowden and the other Elf Academy elves go on a winter wonderland field trip. When one of the younger reindeer is having trouble learning to fly, it’s up to Andy to use his imagination to help save the day!

From humorist Alan Katz and illustrator Stephen Gilpin comes a very punny picture book about a series of show-and-tell misunderstandings. When the teacher says it’s too rainy to go outside for recess and the kids must stay inside for show and tell, she gets an unexpected reaction: “That stinks!” exclaims Jimmy. The class gasps—but then it turns out Jimmy has brought a skunk for show and tell! “Aw, nuts!” says Susie. She’s brought pecans, almonds, and walnuts. Yum! Kids will love shouting these exclamations and more along with the characters in this brand-new picture book from comedy writer Alan Katz, brought vividly to life with cartoonish illustrations by Stephen Gilpin.

Assortment of games, puzzles, and math problems involving various bodily excretions.

Just when you thought they’d moved out for good… Being a mommy is great. So is being a daddy. But do you know what’s even better? Being an empty nester. Oh, the joys of watching a fully raised child sprout wings and move away. Until the horrifying day… That child comes back. Goodbye tranquility. Goodbye cleanliness. Goodbye leftover meatloaf. It’s a fact that 52% of millennials are living in their parents’ homes. Get the H*** Out of My House is picture book for the parents who hoped, thought and prayed they’d be empty nesters. It’s a way to tell them they’re not alone in having those hopes dashed, thoughts dismissed and prayers unanswered. If that’s you, don’t despair. Just read this book, and keep the faith. And if you’re the millennial who’s moved back, buy them this book…then get the hell out of their house!

Well-known songs, including "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Farmer in the Dell, " are presented with new words and titles, such as "Tiny Baby Brother" and "I''m in My Room and Bored."

In "Lifespan Decoded: How to Hack Your Biology for a Longer, Healthier Life," pioneering physicians Dr. Pradeep Albert and Dr. Alan Katz present a revolutionary guide to mastering the science of longevity. This groundbreaking work combines decades of clinical experience with cutting-edge research to offer a comprehensive roadmap for extending both lifespan and healthspan - the period of life spent in good health. Drawing from their extensive work in regenerative medicine, stem cell therapy, and hyperbaric medicine, the authors decode complex scientific concepts into practical strategies that readers can implement immediately. Whether you''re a healthcare professional seeking advanced protocols or someone passionate about optimizing their longevity potential, this book provides the tools and knowledge to take control of your aging process. This comprehensive guide explores: The fascinating biology of aging and how to influence cellular senescence Genetic factors affecting longevity and practical ways to optimize your genetic potential Revolutionary treatments including stem cells, exosomes, and hyperbaric oxygen therapy The critical roles of sleep, stress management, and targeted exercise in longevity Advanced biomarkers to track and optimize your biological age Evidence-based nutritional strategies for extending healthy lifespan Cutting-edge technologies and the future of longevity medicine The intricate connections between immunity, circadian rhythms, and aging Practical protocols for implementing anti-aging interventions Essential considerations for hormone optimization and metabolic health Dr. Albert, a pioneer in regenerative medicine and founder of Longerton University, brings his expertise from treating thousands of patients and training physicians globally. Dr. Katz, with over three decades of medical experience and dual board certifications, contributes his profound insights into metabolic and hyperbaric medicine. "Lifespan Decoded" stands apart by offering: Clear explanations of complex longevity science Actionable protocols based on clinical experience Evidence-based strategies for immediate implementation Advanced insights for healthcare professionals Practical guidance for the general public Discover why aging is no longer destiny - it''s a modifiable process that you can influence. Whether you''re optimizing your own longevity or helping others extend their healthspan, "Lifespan Decoded" provides the blueprint for making informed, evidence-based decisions about your health and future.

How long will Henry''s hair grow?A foot? A yard? Even higher?You control how high Henry''shair grows in this interactiveslide-up-surprise book!

Presents humorous lyrics to such familiar children''s songs as "Pop Goes the Weasel," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and "Hey Diddle Diddle."

Presents riddles, games, puzzles, and word and mathematical quizzes in a graphically gross book where farts, boogers, and burps are the items used in the answers.

Alan Katz and David Catrow''s MOSQUITOES ARE RUINING MY SUMMER! offers song parodies for campers everywhere!

This collection of stories and poems by sixteen Jewish writers portrays the magic of Hanukkah for each person who celebrates it, as well as what it means to be Jewish. Celebrate Hanukkah with a diverse collection of poems and stories filled with history, humor, and hope. Cheer on a young baker as he tries to make sufganiyot from a family recipe. Learn about code breakers in England during World War II. Imagine hosting a refugee cousin or finding long-lost relatives. In this anthology, characters make discoveries, connect with family and friends, and mourn loved ones. Encompassing a range of genres and experiences, there’s something for readers of all faiths in the illuminating pages of The Festival of Lights.

Well-known songs, including "Oh Susannah" and "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," are presented with new words and titles, such as "Heavy Backpack!" and "I Don''t Want to Do Homework!"

If there’s a problem in school, there’s no substitute for the world-saving substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! This is the third book of this hilarious, highly illustrated early chapter book series. Oh, no! Noah, the classroom’s evil pet ferret, has stolen everyone’s lunch—and worse yet, he’s done it on a day when Milton’s mom, the class’s go-to super-sub, is off on another assignment. Will Milton be able to foil Noah’s most fiendish plot yet or will they lose their lunches for good in the gooiest, stickiest, biggest food fight ever? HarperChapters build confident readers one chapter at a time! With short, fast-paced books, art on every page, and milestone markers at the end of every chapter, they''re the perfect next step for fans of I Can Read!

Try not to laugh! Jokes for kids so funny they''ll have you on the ground in no time! I crossed a fish with an elephant. What did you get? Swim trunks! Who’s a golfer’s favorite wizard? Harry Putter! Careful, the jokes in this book are so funny you might just laugh your socks off! From knock knocks to puns a plenty, The Funniest Joke Book Ever For Kids is positively overflowing with funny! It even has activities and fill-in-the-blanks for making your very own jokes. Can you read the whole thing without laughing? Bet you can''t! It''s all brought to you by author and funny man Alan Katz.

Perfect for fans of Tom Angleberger and Dan Gutman, this hilarious story with black and white illustrations is the start of a series about trouble-making twins and their newest nanny--and his very impressive mustache!

If there’s a problem in school, there’s no substitute for the world-saving substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! This is the fourth book of this hilarious, highly illustrated early chapter book series. It’s Spring Break! Milton Worthy and his family are off on a vacation to Super Fun World. It’s a week filled with roller coasters, rides, and fried food—and no super-sub missions for seven whole days. Everything is going according to plan until Milton gets stuck looking after Noah—part-time classroom pet, full-time evil mastermind—who has an entirely different kind of getaway in mind. Will Milton be able to figure out Noah’s latest plot for world domination before it ruins his family’s fun time? HarperChapters build confident readers one chapter at a time! With short, fast-paced books, art on every page, and milestone markers at the end of every chapter, they''re the perfect next step for fans of I Can Read!

Part of a super fun middle grade series, Awesome Achievers in Science puts the spotlight on lesser-known heroes and their contributions in major scientific fields. Everyone has heard the names Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, but what about Michael Collins--the third brave Apollo 11 astronaut who didn''t get to walk on the moon? Many of the most relevant figures in scientific history have remained in the shadows, but not any longer! From Alan Katz''s new Awesome Achievers series, Awesome Achievers in Science gives kids a look behind the scenes at 12 lesser-known scientists whose contributions are personally relevant to their lives today. Each figure is given a traditional biography but is also subject to Katz''s unique brand of silliness, with humorous elements such as imagined poems, song lyrics, and diary entries by or about the not-so-famous figure accompanying each bio. Spot illustrations throughout add to the lighthearted and appreciative humor each figure receives. Reluctant readers and budding scientists alike will delight in this imaginative and engaging continuation of a new series of laugh-out-loud biographies.

When Martin "Murray Poopins" Healey left the Wolfhardt household, all the responsible habits that David and Nathan had developed under his less-than-watchful eye went out the window. So when Myron, who is the spitting image (including the spit) of Martin, arrives on the Wolfhardt doorstep, he is instantly hired to watch Nathan and David. But Myron seems to know things that only Martin could have known, and before long Nathan and David are sure that something strange is going on with their mustachioed manny. As Myron takes them on wild adventures, the twins have their own agenda--to prove that Myron is Martin. But what if there''s really a Martin and Myron, and what if they both want the nanny job? Will Nathan and David get a double dose of nannying? Perfect for fans of Dan Gutman and Tom Angleberger, boys and girls will love the zany laugh-out-loud humor and fun illustrations found in every chapter.

Remember... "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "I''ve Been Working on the Railroad"? Songwriter and comedy writer extraordinaire Alan Katz has turned those and other old favorites on their ears and created new nonsense songs kids will love. With zany, spirited pictures by illustrator and cartoonist David Catrow, this kooky collection guarantees laughs and plenty of silly dillyness for kids everywhere!

Part of a super fun middle grade series, Awesome Achievers in Technology puts the spotlight on lesser-known heroes and their contributions in tech. Everyone has heard the name Steve Jobs, but what about Nolan Bushnell--Jobs''s boss before the invention of Apple, and the founder of the first major video game, Pong? Many of the most relevant figures in tech history have remained in the shadows, but not any longer! From Alan Katz''s new Awesome Achievers series, Awesome Achievers in Technology gives kids a look behind the scenes at 12 lesser-known inventors whose contributions to tech are personally relevant to their lives today. Each figure is given a traditional biography but is also subject to Katz''s unique brand of silliness, with humorous elements such as imagined poems, song lyrics, and diary entries by and about the not-so-famous figure accompanying each bio. Spot illustrations throughout add to the lighthearted and appreciative humor each figure receives. Reluctant readers and budding tech enthusiasts alike will delight in this imaginative and engaging introduction to a new series of laugh out loud biographies.

If there’s a problem in school, there’s no substitute for the world-saving substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! This is the second book of this hilarious, highly illustrated early chapter book series. Oh no! Noah—part time classroom pet, full-time evil mastermind—has his paws set on setting free all the animals at the city zoo. Good thing that when there’s a problem, there’s no substitute for the super substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! HarperChapters build confident readers one chapter at a time! With short, fast-paced books, art on every page, and milestone markers at the end of every chapter, they''re the perfect next step for fans of I Can Read!

If there’s a problem in school, there’s no substitute for the world-saving substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! This is the first book of this hilarious, highly illustrated early chapter book series. When Milton Worthy learns his classroom’s pet ferret is the evil mastermind behind a dastardly plot for world domination, it’s more than just about any kid could handle. But then not every kid is the son of a member of the super-secret, super-awesome Society of Substitutes! Now it’s up to Milton and his substitute teacher mom to save Beacher Elementary School before time runs out. HarperChapters build confident readers one chapter at a time! With short, fast-paced books, art on every page, and milestone markers at the end of every chapter, they''re the perfect next step for fans of I Can Read!

Ricky Vargas IS the funniest kid in the world! Ricky Vargas is so funny he can make people snort milk out of their noses... even if they''re not drinking anything!But it''s not always easy to be so funny. And when the funniest kid in the world has his first un-funny day, Ricky has to figure out how to get back his amazing, world-famous sense of humor. Contains three hilarious Ricky Vargas stories in one book!

Babe Ruth, incredible ballplayer. You might know that he was widely considered baseball’s greatest hitter. But what about his feat of pitching to himself and blasting 25 straight home runs? Or his knack for removing kids’ spleens and kidneys despite not having any medical training? You’re about to be treated to the Lieographical aspects of Babe Ruth’s life, in this funny, lighthearted, “all that didn’t happen” take on this larger than life man. The book ends with a short—but true—account of Babe’s life—just enough to encourage kids to find out more on this important historical figure. But even if readers have already learned about the Babe, the wacky stories in this tall-tales book will be even more enjoyable.

If there’s a problem in school, there’s no substitute for the world-saving substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! This is the fifth book of this hilarious, highly illustrated early chapter book series. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer! When Snowball, the puffball hamster in Ms. Kim’s classroom, accidentally sips the teacher’s leftover protein shake, she transforms into a monster like Beacher Elementary School has never known before. It’s all hands on deck to stop Snowball before it’s too late. And to do that, Milton Worthy is going to do have to team up with Noah, the part-time classroom ferret, full-time evil mastermind! Will Milton and Noah be able to work together in time to stop Snowball and save the world? HarperChapters build confident readers one chapter at a time! With short, fast-paced books, art on every page, and milestone markers at the end of every chapter, they''re the perfect next step for fans of I Can Read!

Amelia Earhart, top aviator. You might know that her flight accomplishments were heralded across the globe. But what about the story of her teeth, which were so perfect that her dentist wanted to remove all of them to show his other patients? Or her refusal to read chapter nine in any book? You’re about to be treated to the Lieographical aspects of Amelia Earhart’s life, in this funny, lighthearted, “all that didn’t happen” take on this larger than life woman. The book ends with a short—but true—account of Amelia’s life—just enough to encourage kids to find out more on this important historical figure. But even if readers have already learned about Amelia, the wacky stories in this tall-tales book will be even more enjoyable.