New Releases by Terry Denton

YES / NODo you ignore health warnings and safety instructions whenever possible?Do you ever play kiss chasey with girls (if you are a boy) or with boys (if you are a girl)?Do you regularly engage in deadly battles with brothers, sisters and/or indestructible cyborg warriors?Do you live on a planet that will one day be incinerated by an expanding start called the Sun?Do you like fast-paced, high-action, high-body-count stories featuring mini-golf, lawn bowls and naked people in the nude? SCORE: One point for each ''yes'' answer3-5 You are definitely DOOMED! You will love this book.1-2 You are fairly DOOMED! You will love this book.0 You are DOOMED, you just don''t realise it.

Is this the right book for you? Take the ANNOYING TEST and find out. 1) Do you ask `Are we there yet?'' over and over on long car trips? 2) Do you like to drive people mad by copying everything they say and do? 3) Do you hog the shower and use up all the hot water? 4) Do you enjoy asking silly questions that have no real answers? 5) Do you swing on the clothesline whenever you get the chance? SCORE: One point for each ''yes'' answer. 3-5 You are obviously a very annoying person. You will love this book. 1-2 You are a fairly annoying person. You will love this book. 0 You don''t realise how much fun being annoying can be. You will love this book.

Gasp as Andy careers down a hill in an abandoned pram wearing only a nappy! Groan as he desperately looks for a toilet in a shopping centre before he explodes! Squirm as he shoves twenty marshmallows in his mouth without swallowing! But most of all, laugh! Because Andy Griffiths is back with nine hysterically stupid tales.

Full of highly original, and extremely funny stories, which established Andy Griffiths as the world''s most annoying person. They include convincing his best friend Danny that he is invisible so that he will wreak havoc in the school library, and pretending that corn relish is vomit to make an old lady move seats on a plane.

Do you bounce so high on your bed that you hit your head on the ceiling? Do you ever look in the mirror and see a crazy maniac staring back at you? Nine highly original, humorous stories complemented by imaginative and hilarious illustrations from one of Australia''s most well-known and acclaimed illustrators, Terry Denton.

For Wombat''s birthday, Fox gives him the perfect present: a notebook in which to write lists. And the first list Wombat makes is a list of WILD + DANGEROUS DEEDS. What follows is a chaotic, madcap set of misadventures involving a scooter ride down Bandicoot''s big hill, a frozen Fox on top of the high-dive tower at the swimming pool and a night spent stuck on the highest point of the roller coaster at Thrillseekers Park. With pesky guest appearances from the mischievous Five Monkeys, warm old favourites Croc and the Hippo Sisters and a brand new friend for Fox - the enigmatic Tasmanian Devil.

Features a rat with a bat and a very flat cat and a frog in a bog with a jet-rocket log, but the duck in the truck might just suck them all up. This work presents a collection of utterly nonsensical, totally irreverent rhymes.

Wombat and Fox don''t go looking for trouble, but trouble and mishaps seem to have a way of finding them.The city can be a surprising place. Seemingly unimportant, ordinary goings-on can easily change the course of a day for Wombat and Fox, Croc, Bandicoot, the Hippo Sisters and the mischievous Five Monkeys.These are their stories.

Wombat and fox''s summer holiday adventure which includes tackling a stressful bus trip, a wacky sandcastle competition, a crab-hunting expedition and the five cheeky monkeys intent on ruining their holiday.

- Why was the Tyrannosore-arse Rex so angry?- Where did Bogasauruses live?- How many cheeks did a Tricerabutt have?- Was the Bumheaded idiotasaurus the most stupid bumosaur?- When did the bumosaurs become exstinkt?Find the answers to these and many other questions in this fully-illustrated guide to prehistoric bumosaur life. Covering the Pre-Crappian era through to the Post-Crapaceous, this essential reference will thrill, amaze and inform the whole family. Never again will you look like a fool when somebody asks: "What bumosaur is that?"

Gasp! Clever and hilarious, this story is about a naughty, greedy little fish who nearly gets what he deserves. Zapt! This hilarious sequel to Gasp!will leave you breathless, as our favourite fish stars again in an extraordinary and shocking adventure. Splat! A third side-splitting adventure about everyone''s favourite fish. Mayhem follows when our shocked hero discovers a stranger in his bowl. Visit www.gaspseries.tvfor lots of Gasp fun and downloads.

A collection of three interlinked illustrated stories for beginners and developing readers, featuring Fox and Wombat and their hilarious adventures in the city. Wombat and Fox are the best of friends - native animals in a human city. They are like children who find themselves in a grown-up world and they don''t quite understand the rules of life. Their everyday adventures in the urban environment are dramatic, charming and funny. Warm-hearted Denton-style sketch comedy presented as three stories in one for beginner readers. There will be more books featuring these endearing characters.

Explores how inventors and scientists throughout history unlocked the secret of human flight through such means as war kites, hot-air balloons manned by barnyard animals, an aerial steam carriage and a giant catapult.

WARNING! This book contains nothing but bad stories, bad illustrations, bad poems, bad cartoons and bad riddles about bad characters doing bad things. It is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad book.BAD JACK HORNERBad Jack HornerSat in a cornerPulling the wings off a fly.He swore at his mumKicked his dad in the bum,And said ''Oh, what a bad boy am I''.

If you like calm, sensible, fluffy stories, then GO AWAY! Because this is a story about a LUMP OF ROCK!! The dialogue is not very interesting because lumps of rock don t talk! I bet you didn t know that. I bet you thought all the rocks and little stones chatted amongst themselves when you were not around. Well, it s not true. But here are 22 things that are true: 2 An obelisk is a piece of rock. A long thin pointy piece of rock. 4 The planet EEENO is just a piece of rock floating in space. 6 A parallel universe is really another-other piece of rock, just like the other piece of rock, but in the wrong place. 8 An author is just a piece of rock with a laptop. 10 Nell Smith had a dog, called Spot. Spot used to leave little rocks all around the garden. Little smelly rocks. 12 An obelisk is a big, fat, dumb, French comic-strip character. 14 Nico s favourite rock group is the Red Hot Chili Pebbles. 16 My mum s favourite actor was Rock Hudson. 18 He had rocks in his head. 20 So did my mum. 22 So do you.

Andrew Daddo s outrageous new collection of short stories, You re Dropped, follows some of the characters in the Sprung! collections and introduces some new ones. And this time the stories are all about love. There s how to get your arm round your date at the movies, where to put your noses, how to help your mum and dad through The Talk, and how to handle being dropped. Crushes, first dates, first kisses, first break-ups: for young readers it s a handbook on what to expect; for adults it s a hilarious reminder of what they were hoping to forget! Through his television work with children, and his own parenting, Andrew Daddo started to write a series of short stories for young readers. Anyone who has seen Andrew on television knows that he is a born storyteller. And the stories in You re Dropped are the kind that parents and grandparents long for, and the kids themselves love: stories of adventure, comedy and mischief from an almost legendary Australia, a place that is often not reported in the daily news. Andrew Daddo is fast becoming a major figure in Australian writing for young readers. Terry Denton is one of the secrets behind the success of Andy Griffiths Just series, and his illustrations put another mischievous twist in Andrew Daddo s adventures.

Just when you thought it was safe to stick your hand in the fish bowl, Gasp is back! In this latest adventure, our rotten fishy has to baby-sit his nephew Winston. What he doesn''t suspect is that Winston is the baby fish from the black lagoon, determined to cause havoc, mayhem and destruction wherever he goes. This is an epic story of mad babies, short attention spans and microwaves, with a climax that will leave you gasping - with laughter!

NO! You''ve picked up a copy of Terry Denton''s new book, THE GOLDEN UDDER. Big mistake! Now you are going to learn lots of things that you will never ever forget. Did you know? 1. Udders are creatures from another dimension that float down to Earth and attach themselves to cows. 2. Udders are really DANGEROUS. 3. Udders cast off their skins every year - that''s where rubber gloves come from. 4. Man first landed on the moon in a very big metal udder. 5. Your legs are on fire. 6. On its maiden voyage the Titanic sank after it hit a huge frozen udder. 7. There is a modulator from an Illudium P76 Terrain Vehicle next to the ice-cream in your fridge. (go and check) 8. A Santa Gertrudin is a brand new choccie bar treat made out of recycle dog vomit. 9. Your legs really are on fire. (have a look) 10. Well, if your legs are not on fire, where''s the smoke coming from then? 11. AAARRRGGGGG!!!! My legs are on fire!!! Why didn''t you tell me, you psycho!!!!

Here s another collection of Andrew Daddo s hilarious short stories that sold straight through their first print run for Christmas 2001, and generated a fantastic publicity campaign. Anyone who has seen Andrew on television knows that he is a born storyteller. And the stories in Sprung Again! are the kind that parents and grandparents long for, and the kids themselves love: stories of adventure, comedy and mischief from an almost legendary Australia, a place that is often not reported in the daily news. But what immediately strikes readers is that these stories are real . They re about football, fishing, camping, holidays, school gangs, growing up and dealing with the whole messy business of boyfriends and girlfriends, being part of the group or a nerd, so they will be eagerly read by both boys and girls. The stories are pacy and cheeky enough to appeal to the kids who love Andy Griffiths, but their resolution often involves little ethical issues that give them a strong appeal to adults. So Sprung Again! will be an ideal Christmas gift, and will have young readers and adults alike laughing with embarrassment at an author who s caught them out when they weren t looking. Terry Denton is one of the secrets behind the success of Andy Griffiths Just series, and his illustrations put another mischievous twist in Andrew Daddo s adventures.

A grandmother and her young grandchild treasure the time they have together. The wonderful hours spent reading, fishing and paddling in the sea will always be remembered. An uplifting story about a relationship that never dies.

OK! So you''re not sure whether you want to read this book or not. I''M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU''RE MISSING OUT ON if you don''t read it. (You won''t believe me anyway.)(Besides I haven''t read it.) I''m not going to tell you how FUNNY this BOOK is or that it was not TESTED ON ANIMALS or that 16 DOLPHINS DIED when the forests were cut down to make the paper for this book. I''m not GOING TO tell you that this book is about SURFING and that it contains a story with heroes of either SEX; it looks at parallel universes, BLOOD, VIOLENCE and stuff. (If read backwards it makes no sense at all.) The Venuzuelan Tribune said: ''We don''t like books with lots of pictures!'' The Daily Bugle said: ''Why bother reading it? None of it''s real.'' The Flying Scotsman wrote: ''I read it from cover to cover but didn''t worry about the bit in between.'' The Egyptian Mummy wrote: ''I was wrapped!''

Storymaze 2 - the comic extravaganza full of LAUGHS, no SEX and of course absolutely no BLOOD!

These sharp and hilarious science fiction stories with comic-style illustrations encourage reluctant and enthusiastic readers alike to read the pictures as part of an ongoing narrative to build visual literacy. Each high-energy tale follows the many surfing adventures of Nico, Claudia, and Mikey as they plunge into parallel worlds and weird places beyond the known universe. Part novel, part comic book, these tales twist when least expected and continually stretch a child''s imagination and humor. Kids will also delight in a variety of verbal puns and jokes throughout the adventures.

In this third hilarious adventure, our Gasp! fish hero is shocked when a stranger enters the tank. Mayhem follows.

This wacky sequel to Gasp!will leave you breathless, as our favourite fish stars again in an extraordinary and shocking adventure.

A fish suddenly finds himself out of water and begins a frantic search for survival.

Large format introduction to humorous spoonerisms, for children aged eight years and up, with colourful illustrations of such things as leaping wizards (and weeping lizards), and puzzles involving matching pictures to jumbled words. The authors are well-known for their children''s stories.

When Eddie loses his laugh, his parents send him to the School of Laughter to get it back.

When Alexander becomes lost in the city, his stuffed dog Felix comes to rescue him, only to become lost himself.