New Releases by JIM BENTON

Cher journal full nul, Avant d''aller à l''école, Isabelle m''a demandé de la coiffer dans les toilettes des filles. Ses cheveux sont vraiment très beaux. Ils sont noirs, épais et brillants, comme la crinière d''un lion majestueux, mais en noir. Elle avait un examen plus tard et elle avait écrit les réponses sur une tranche de saucisson de son sandwich. Si le prof la voit, elle pourra juste manger le sandwich et détruire les preuves. Mais elle n''y pensait plus et a accidentellement mangé son dîner pendant que je la coiffais. Se faire belle peut vraiment vous affamer!

La série à succès Mon journal full nul est hilarante! Maintenant le journal de Jasmine Kelly a un nouveau style avec une touche d''humour. Mon journal full nul : une nouvelle année est encore à se tordre de rire! Alors que Jasmine essaie toujours de résoudre les énigmes de l''école secondaire, elle a encore plus de mal à comprendre les expressions telles que « Tout le monde sait que plus on aime quelqu''un, moins on essaie de lui plaire » et « Les gens ne se rendent pas compte de l''énergie qu''il faut pour faire des bêtises. » (Jasmine n''a aucune idée que tout le monde lit son journal. Surtout, ne lui dites rien!)

When Donut the bear is told his story is over and he has to leave, he employs trickery so the story can go on.

Jamie, Isabella, and Angeline have known each other for a long time. They''ve even become friends -- whether Jamie likes it or not. But when the trio starts a friendly competition, all bets are off. The loser will be treated to a game of Dare or Worse Dare ... with Isabella. (And Jamie''s pretty sure that''s like having a banana-peeling contest with a starving monkey. The monkey always wins.) What could go wrong? Probably everything. And it''s probably all that blondwad Angeline''s fault. Probably.

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don''t tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I''m friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline''s uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker''s puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn''t live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Middle schooler Jamie Kelly returns with another dumb diary: “You’ll laugh out loud at what this girl has to say.” —Knight Ridder Tribune Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It’s true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline’s flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she’s lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline’s failure to not be perfect. Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don’t tell her . . . Praise for New York Times–bestselling author Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Everyone''s favorite Mackerel Middle-Schooler, Jamie Kelly, is back with another hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice) diary!There''s a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School.Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It''s enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can''t help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world?

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.They were just a soft, ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans until Jamie Kelly tried them on . . . Then they became a tight, scratchy, slightly smelly, and utterly ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans with an embarrassing haunting problem. Do the pants have the power to soothe a vengeful beagle, vanquish The Prettiest Girl in the World, or make the wearer irresistible to the eighth cutest guy in the grade? Are the haunted pants so dazzling they can hurt and maybe permanently damage the eyes of onlookers? Or are the haunted pants just, well, haunted (which is kind of gross when you think about it)?

Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella is probably right. She almost always is.When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.)But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . .

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.School's out for the summer, and that means no more Meat Loaf Thursdays, Sunday homework-cramming, or teachers (way way unsuccessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that certain Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands . . . and seriously empty pockets. Isabella is going to change all that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help --- whether they like it or not. It's the best kind of teamwork: When a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing it wrong one at a time.

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series! Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series!Dear Dumb Diary is a hilarious hit! Now after 12 books (each covering a month of her life), Jamie Kelly's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny -- but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber!As Jamie grapples with school, grades, and middle school's Big Questions, don't miss even more of her words of wisdom like, "If someone is really, really intelligent, it would be polite if they would ugly it up a bit before they left the house."(Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

Whatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries! The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

Do NOT read Jamie Kelly's top-secret diaries! "Sometimes it amazes me how ingenious I am about everything." --Jamie KellyWe've been with Jamie Kelly through her search for inner beauty, poofy bridesmaid dresses, and desperate attempts to make money during summer vacation. Along the way, she's left us with countless gems of wisdom, such as: "If somebody ever asks you to kick her in the face, the first thing she will do is forget that she asked you to do it," and "As long as you keep laughing at how dumb something is, you can secretly enjoy it without risking your cool."Now Jamie's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny -- but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber!(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

Goosebumps and Bill Nye the Science Guy fans, meet Franny! Being a mad scientist in the modern world is very hard work. With so much that needs to be done in such a short period of time, multitasking can become overwhelming. Franny needs some additional help. But for Franny there is only one person in the world she trusts to help her with her experiments: herself. So she acquires assistance the mad-scientist way…by building a few real, live, steel-plated Franbots!

Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, continuing a new spin on a favorite series! Dear Dumb Diary, Before school, Isabella had me fix her hair in the girls' bathroom. Her hair really is quite beautiful. It's black and thick and glossy, like the majestic hair on a lion if that was black. She had a test later, and she had written the answers on a slice of baloney in the sandwich she brought for lunch. If the teacher saw her, she could just eat the sandwich and destroy the evidence. But she wasn't thinking, and accidentally ate her lunch while I was doing her hair. Beauty can really make you hungry. While she was wiping the ink off her lips, I explained why cheating is wrong. We have a test in math next week, and I encouraged her to pack a lunch you can't write on. If she brings peanut butter and jelly, I'll know I got through to her.

Bestselling author Jim Benton returns, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series! Dear Dumb Diary is a hilarious hit! Now after twelve books (each covering a month of her life), Jamie Kelly's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber! As Jamie grapples with school, grades, and more of middle school's Big Questions, don't miss even more of her words of wisdom like, "If someone is really, really intelligent, it would be polite if they would ugly it up a bit before they left the house." Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them."

Jamie Kelly chronicles her second year of middle school in her diary, where she deals with new teachers, confronts Angelina and the other pretty people in school, and struggles in math class.

Jamie's struggles continue with school issues, grades, and getting along with others.

Jamie''s struggles continue with school issues and grades, especially in math, as she ponders life''s big questions.

School''s out for summer, and that means no more Meatloaf Thursdays, Sunday homework cramming, or teachers (way way unsucessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands...and seriously empty pockets.Isabella is going to change all of that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help--whether they like it or not. It''s the best kind of teamwork: when a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing wrong one at a time.

As their school gets ready for the annual Fun Fair, Jamie and Isabella agree to compete in the bottle toss game and to terrible consequences for the loser.

Organization is for people who are just too lazy to spend two hours looking for something. Get organized with this laugh-out-loud funny school planner, full of snark, wit . . . and stickers! This cool trifold format is packed with laughs! Jamie Kelly brings DDD fans a school planner with two sheets of stickers, a pen, and three interactive books: Glamorously Important Notes, All About Me, and Addresses of People I Don''t Hate (Mostly). Complete with fill-ins, prompts, extra places to jot down assignments, and some brand-new full color art, this is one school planner everyone will want! After all, PLANNING to put something off until the day before it''s due is a totally legitimate kind of planning.

Jamie Kelly reveals in her diary that she has agreed to be friends with Angeline in order to save her aunt Carol''s marriage to the girl''s uncle, and details the problems associated with the friendship.

Collects three stories about Franny and her experiments involving creating monsters, becoming invisible, and time travel.

Jamie Kelly looks back through her very oldest diaries, and is amazed at how dumb she used to be considering how smart she is now.

Determined to be elected class president, mad scientist Frannie K. Stein uses her Atomic Combiner to create a suit that makes her seem to be whatever a voter wants her to be, but the suit has plans of its own.

Franny K. Stein, Mad Scientist, has always had her eye on world domination, but she has to start somewhere...like her class elections! If people voted for her, they were giving her all the control she wanted. But Franny''s platform doesn''t have the same appeal as her competitors who are offering new playground equipment, so she finds another platform...The Frandidate. Made of DNA samples from a dog, a chameleon and a parrot, along with a scrap of carpet (so she''ll know where people stand), Franny creates the perfect candidate who says and does exactly what people want to hear! But soon her suit starts making promises she knows she won''t be able to keep and Franny realizes she might have gone too far. The Frandidate will give you everything you want, science, humor and some old fashioned politics!